Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that risky

sports

Use synonyms

like skydiving and bungee jumping should be prohibited,

whereas

Linking Words

others argue that people should have to choose. I believe that extreme play should not be banned, but it must be controlled. On the one hand, many extreme

games

Check wording

sports

show examples

can lead to severe accidents because of unsafe conditions.

In other words

Linking Words

, these events are

organized

Use the right word

organised

show examples

and conducted by non-professionals, and in most cases, they do not follow safety precautions and safety equipment, resulting in the young generation with adventurous personalities becoming disabled or dying.

In addition

Linking Words

, some activities can cause harm to other people or their

properties

Fix the agreement mistake

property

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in city street bike races, when bikes go through city traffic, many dangerous incidents can happen not only to motorcyclists

as well

Rephrase

but also

show examples

to pedestrians and cars.

However

Linking Words

, I believe these indicators can be controlled by laws and regulations.

On the other hand

Linking Words

folk

Fix the agreement mistake

folks

show examples

should be free to do whatever they want, whether it is safe or dangerous. Everyone in the world is not the same; they all fit into different stereotypes. Some

public

Check wording

people

show examples

enjoys

Correct subject-verb agreement

enjoy

show examples

music,

while

Linking Words

others enjoy extreme

sports

Use synonyms

because they are physically active. If the government prohibits

such

Linking Words

games, they may engage in anti-social activities

such

Linking Words

as robbery

due to

Linking Words

their high adrenaline levels.

As a result

Linking Words

, they may eventually become a criminal. I believe that extreme

games

Check wording

sports

show examples

should not be prohibited because they help to control the outliers in our society, and

this

Linking Words

benefit outweighs any potential disadvantages. In conclusion, dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

can cause serious injuries, but

this

Linking Words

can be avoided by enforcing rules and regulations;

additionally

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

bans can cause social problems

due to

Linking Words

the extreme crimes they can incite.

nsaini2911

Apr 24, 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction. Your opinion should be easy to find.

coherence and cohesion

Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words to show how your points relate to each other.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your argument stronger and clearer.

task achievement

You presented both views on the topic clearly, showing good understanding of the discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your opinion, which is a good practice.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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