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Band 1

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meet can cause health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #health
In
Correct article usage
the moderen
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moderen
Correct your spelling
modern
 era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people are non-
vegeterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
, but
Correct article usage
a vegerterian
show examples
vegerterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
 diet is better than meat. I will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
discuss my points in the following paragraph. First and the foremost reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
vegeterian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
 is good for
health
Correct pronoun usage
our health
show examples
 because it includes a lot of potassium
as well as
 calories it provides
energery
Correct your spelling
energy
 when we do any work and in the future our body will be stable. Because of
vegetables
Add a comma
,vegetables
show examples
 we can save our life from diseases ,
for instance
, in China
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 people eat red meat and 50%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 beneath
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
 and
cancer
Add a missing verb
have cancer
show examples
 because of
excess
Correct article usage
the excess
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 amount of meat.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when we eat pulses and fruits with the help of
this
 our
blood's
Change noun form
blood
show examples
 circulation flow
normal
Change the word
normally
show examples
.
In addition
, we have no
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to kill animals and eat them.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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