The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

The line graph illustrates the changes in four village libraries over 4 months,

while

Linking Words

the

pie

Use synonyms

chart

Use synonyms

displays

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

of types of

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

borrowed.

Overall

Linking Words

, the graph indicated significant fluctuations , with some places showing growth and others experiencing a decline, apart from a

pie

Use synonyms

chart

Use synonyms

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

the percentage amount of fiction, history, science, biography and self-help

books

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

the figure , West Eaton and Church Mount started with the smallest number in June,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

it had a steady increase over the months, rising from 50 to 150 publications by September.

In contrast

Linking Words

, Ryeslip began with a quantity of 300

books

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but experienced

slight

Add an article

a slight

show examples

reduction , dropping 170

books

Use synonyms

by September. The next library that

standed

Correct your spelling

stood

show examples

out

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

Sutton Wood, a library with very high fluctuations in growth and decline. It started with 250

books

Use synonyms

in June, rose slightly in July, released

Change preposition

apply

show examples

100

books

Use synonyms

with a very sharp drop in August, and raised dramatically to 300 in September. As for the

pie

Use synonyms

chart

Use synonyms

, fiction

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

held the largest share, making up 43% of the total,

while

Linking Words

biography accounted for 10%. History and science had nearly equal shares of fourteen per cent,

along with

Linking Words

Self-help held the mediocre share at 19%. It is noticeable that the data reveals that

while

Linking Words

West Eaton and Church Mount experienced consistent growth over the four months, overtaking Sutton Wood in deviations, Ryeslip showed a significant decline, paralleling the decreasing share of self-help

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

in the

pie

Use synonyms

chart

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

highlighting a shift in both the number of the

books

Use synonyms

and the proportion of types.

dnm.best

Apr 24, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, chart, books with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

unemployment rates
female unemployment
data representation
overall trend
disparities
regional differences
insight
analysis
significant changes
employment policies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recently, due to the popularity of junk food, there are risks to traditional cuisines being replaced by fast food. I totally agree that it has various disadvantages for society and families.
7
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, sya that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
A discourse about culture in schools has resulted in various responses, some people think it is fundamental to teach competitiveness. While others say they should be taught to cooperate and work in a team. From the deepest of my heart, my standpoint gravitates to the latter.
6
band
Some people say that it is beneficial for young people to visit different countries of the world, others oppose. Do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and support them with your own examples.
Some people believe that it is useful for the young generation to visit other countries of the world, while others oppose to this view. I completely agree with this statement because visiting other countries broadens the outlook of young people and increases their willingness to learn.
6
band
Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?
Becoming a parent is a great responsibility although not everyone considers it the same way. There are some premarital classes available worldwide, both offline and online. It is easily accessible but sadly only a few people having the urge to take it seriously. Even though in some cities, like mine, this kind of class is mandatory, these couples took it only out of obligation. After all, I do believe that to be a good mother and father, taking a class is required.
6
band
Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects?
There is no denying the fact that people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. While it is a commonly held belief that the environment impacts their success, there is also an argument that the environment helps people to succeed.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, sya that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that it is beneficial for young people to visit different countries of the world, others oppose. Do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and support them with your own examples.

Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects?