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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
The number of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed in 4 various months in 2014 from four
village
Use synonyms
 libraries is demonstrated in the line graph
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the proportion of
books
Use synonyms
, by type, that were taken over
this
Linking Words
 period is indicated in the pie chart.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 every library of the
village
Use synonyms
 had different patterns of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed over four months, and that each given genre had
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 value of the number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed. As regards the
first,
Linking Words
Sutton Wood
village
Use synonyms
 experienced wild fluctuations from June to September, where the trend was upward, rising from 250 to three hundred borrowed
books
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Church Mount had a steady increase, changing from fifty to 150 in 2014. In comparison, in Ryeslip
Use synonyms
village
Punctuation problem
village,
show examples
 the number of
books
Use synonyms
 taken from the library was steadily reduced from three hundred to 175
books
Use synonyms
 in four months.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in West Eaton’s
library
Add a comma
library,
show examples
 the variable gradually grew and
then
Linking Words
leveled
Use the right word
levelled
show examples
 off after August, having the same change as in Ryeslip
village
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the information from
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart demonstrates that
self-help
Correct article usage
the self-help
show examples
 genre was the least borrowed book type,
while
Linking Words
 fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were the most popular among people in 2014, being ten per cent and 43 per cent respectively. Both history and science
books
Use synonyms
 were equal to fourteen per cent, which is almost
one third
Use the right word
one-third
show examples
 of fiction
books
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, biography had a value of 19%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, village with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • female unemployment
  • data representation
  • overall trend
  • disparities
  • regional differences
  • insight
  • analysis
  • significant changes
  • employment policies
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