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Band 5.5

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom
The graph below shows us female
unemployment
 rates in the four
countries
 of the UK. There are downward trends in three
countries
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
 Scotland,including
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 point in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England
. As regards the first,in
England
 we can see some decrease in
unemployment
. In 2013 country faced 6.8%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unemployment
 which was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 highest
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
each
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
countries
.
However
,after a year,
England
 slightly improved
their statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
its statistics
show examples
 by 0.3% making it second
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries
.
By contrast
,Wales was
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 country
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2013 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5.4%. In 2014
unemployment
 rate
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined by 5.0%.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are two
countries
 that nearly have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 trends
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
England
 and Wales. Scotland had a 6.1% of
unemployment
 by 2013,
whether
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 Northern Ireland had a 5.6%. Over
Add an article
the
a
show examples
year ,Scotland showed
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 rate
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 6.7% which was nearly as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 as
England
’s 2013 trend.Meanwhile ,Northern Ireland steadily deteriorated to 4.6%, 1% less than 
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, countries, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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