Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?
It is inevitably true that there is an inexorable increase /surge in the usage of workplace could help reduce the irreversible damage done to
machines
with AI technology /machines
controlled by robots
for doing work
both at home and workplace. There is enough compelling evidence to argue that this
adverse trend brings with it deluge
of demerits. (Strong negative opinion statement) Add an article
a deluge
This
essay argues how excessive use of robot enables
Verb problem
apply
machines
could push people
to live sedentary lifestyle
and why human labor would lose its value over time. For a start, /For one thing, (sequencing linker) what is more worrisome/ a far more serious concern is that with the growing dependency on Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
machines
with AI technology, people
have not only become lazy as most of the work
is getting done by pressing few buttons,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
fallen prey to critical illnesses, such
as obesity, increased cardiac ailments due to
lack of physical movement. Recent reports claim that there is a substantial increase in the number of patients who complain of accumulation of fat,
Correct word choice
and, surge
surge
in blood cholesterol in hospitals in the cities where Add an article
the surge
a surge
people
use machines
for doing household chores as opposed to that
in rural areas where Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
still do work
manually which in turn reduces their potential risk of falling ill. Nevertheless
, /Nonetheless
, /However
, doing work
manually both in the house and atAdd an article
the
body
and mind Correct article usage
the body
due to
sedentary
lifestyle. / Correct article usage
a sedentary
Nevertheless
, /Nonetheless
, /However
, doing work
manually could entail movement of body
, Add an article
the body
release
of toxins in the form of sweat, thereby improving the state of health and Correct word choice
and release
wellbeing
. Correct your spelling
well-being
Besides
this
, /Alongside this
, what is more worrisome, /a far more serious concern is that in factories, laboratories and in mechanical sectors there are lots of contemporary machines
which adversely affects the employment rate of people
which is an alarming concern for nation
. Add an article
the nation
Machines
are replacing human labor
, thereby increasing Change the spelling
labour
the
acute unemployment among Correct article usage
apply
people
. In other words
, given that robots
neither produce errors nor consume a lot of time, doing repetitive work
effectively and efficiently, and therefore
could be trusted more by the companies which find it quite costly to hire human labor
which could hardly match the speed and accuracy of Change the spelling
labour
machines
. Future technologies such
as artificial intelligence is
capable of creating Change the verb form
are
robots
smarter than humans, which could endanger mankind and other lives on earth. However
, without humans, controlling robots
or reprogramming them during faults could be difficult. /However
, if there is unemployment then
people
would resort to illegal ways of earning money which in turn could increase the crime rate of the city. To conclude
, it is completely justifiable to say that use
of Correct article usage
the use
robots
for carrying out work
at home or office could be detrimental /could result in deterioration of health as well as
loss of jobs of skilled workforce.Submitted by dhruvprajapati.987 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion