IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?

#tasks #home #work #robots #development
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It is inevitably true that there is an inexorable increase /surge in the usage of
machines
Use synonyms
 with AI technology /
machines
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 controlled by
robots
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 for doing
work
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 both at home and workplace. There is enough compelling evidence to argue that
this
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 adverse trend brings with it
deluge
Add an article
a deluge
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 of demerits. (Strong negative opinion statement)
This
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 essay argues how excessive use of robot
enables
Verb problem
apply
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machines
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 could push
people
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 to live sedentary
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 and why human labor would lose its value over time. For a start, /For one thing, (sequencing linker) what is more worrisome/ a far more serious concern is that with the growing dependency on
machines
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 with AI technology,
people
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 have not only become lazy as most of the
work
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 is getting done by pressing few buttons
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 fallen prey to critical illnesses,
such
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 as obesity, increased cardiac ailments
due to
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 lack of physical movement. Recent reports claim that there is a substantial increase in the number of patients who complain of accumulation of fat
,
Correct word choice
and, surge
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surge
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the surge
a surge
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 in blood cholesterol in hospitals in the cities where
people
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 use
machines
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 for doing household chores as opposed to
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in rural areas where
people
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 still do
work
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 manually which in turn reduces their potential risk of falling ill.
Nevertheless
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, /
Nonetheless
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, /
However
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, doing
work
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 manually both in the house and at
Add an article
the
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workplace could help reduce the irreversible damage done to
body
Correct article usage
the body
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 and mind
due to
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sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle. /
Nevertheless
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, /
Nonetheless
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, /
However
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, doing
work
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 manually could entail movement of
body
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the body
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,
release
Correct word choice
and release
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 of toxins in the form of sweat, thereby improving the state of health and
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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.
Besides
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this
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, /Alongside
this
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, what is more worrisome, /a far more serious concern is that in factories, laboratories and in mechanical sectors there are lots of contemporary
machines
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 which adversely affects the employment rate of
people
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 which is an alarming concern for
nation
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the nation
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.
Machines
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 are replacing human
labor
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labour
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, thereby increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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acute unemployment among
people
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.
In other words
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, given that
robots
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 neither produce errors nor consume a lot of time, doing repetitive
work
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 effectively and efficiently, and
therefore
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 could be trusted more by the companies which find it quite costly to hire human
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 which could hardly match the speed and accuracy of
machines
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. Future technologies
such
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 as artificial intelligence
is
Change the verb form
are
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 capable of creating
robots
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 smarter than humans, which could endanger mankind and other lives on earth.
However
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, without humans, controlling
robots
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 or reprogramming them during faults could be difficult. /
However
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, if there is unemployment
then
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people
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 would resort to illegal ways of earning money which in turn could increase the crime rate of the city.
To conclude
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, it is completely justifiable to say that
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
robots
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 for carrying out
work
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 at home or office could be detrimental /could result in deterioration of health
as well as
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 loss of jobs of skilled workforce.
Submitted by dhruvprajapati.987 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Humanoid
  • Machine learning
  • Task allocation
  • Operational costs
  • Manual labor
  • Disruptive technology
  • Ergonomics
  • Unemployment
  • Cybersecurity
  • Technological singularity
  • Redundant workforce
  • Innovation
  • Ethical considerations
What to do next:
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