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Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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It’s controversial whether the governmental institutions should prioritize the
healthcare
 field by investing more financial income,
while
 other
people
 believe that
this
 money should be spent on other problems,
this
 examination will discuss both points of view, On one hand, governors are aware of the importance of
healthcare
 in society, which is why they invest time and money to develop it,
in other words
, being healthy and having access to all health facilities is very essential for citizens to be highly productive and active in society.
Furthermore
, a strong
healthcare
 system can tackle very the spread of potential pandemics
such
 as COVID-19,
That is
 illustrated by the fatality rate of patients all over the globe, the countries with
a weak
Correct the article-noun agreement
a weak healthcare regime
weak healthcare regimes
show examples
healthcare
 regimes have suffered more compared to countries with a highly sophisticated
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, so
this
 investment is a long-lastings term,
On the other hand
,
people
 may think of
this
 investment is not needed, because the government has to finance more realistic fields.
Such
 as agriculture
along with
 the education system. Because
people
 happen to see the result in the short term,
also
 ignore the circumstances of having an unhealthy community, which can put the country in a very critical state
such
 as
people
 who suffer from incurable diseases are always treated on
healthcare
 fees.
To conclude
, regardless of the reasons of
people
 who are against the investment of the government on the
healthcare
, I deeply believe that presently
healthcare
 should take the highest rate of finance in order to tackle the future threat and preserve the productivity of its citizens
Submitted by creativedesign1a9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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