Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #attention

In modern days,

advertisements

are seen every day through TV

comercials

Correct your spelling

commercials

or signs on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

buildings. Some people insist that

advertisements

encourage consumers to buy more products,

whereas

others complain that

advertisements

can not draw attention from consumers any more. On the one hand, there is a fact that many companies still rely on

advertisements

to increase their

sales

. Celebrities are often utilized and it seems that

this

strategy has been successful.

For example

, Tiger Woods earned $100 million from his first

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

five-year contract with Nike, which means that the company made more than $100 million

profit

Change preposition

in profit

show examples

Then

, his current contract

Add a missing verb

is worths

show examples

worths

Replace the word

worth

show examples

$200 million.

Therefore

, celebrity endorsements have a huge influence on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sales

However

this

method

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

enormous amounts of money and many

company

Change to a plural noun

companies

show examples

can not afford to allocate their budgets to celebrity endorsements.

On the other hand

, it is true that there are too many

advertisements

Change preposition

show examples

society, including commercials on TV, posting paper

advertisements

, and large signs on streets, to recognize each of them. The majority of

advertisements

tend to be ignored and do not contribute to an increase in

sales

. Very few

advertisements

, which were outstanding in terms of music or actors, may be kept in mind, which leads to the purchase. In my opinion, both perspectives are understandable.

Therefore

, outcomes may depend on

companies'

Correct article usage

the companies'

show examples

budget

Fix the agreement mistake

budgets

show examples

and outstanding creativity.

To conclude

, as many people have been

gooten

Correct your spelling

gotten

used to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

surrounded by

advertisements

whrere

Correct your spelling

where

the majority of them are not paid attention and contribute to

sales

However

, celebrity endorsements are still beneficial for large companies.

Submitted by nanamach87 on Mon Apr 24 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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