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Band 6.5

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but most of the time fail in making this happen. What is your own opinion about an ideal society? How we can create an ideal society

#history #people #society #time #happen
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the rocky to make an ideal
society
. In my opinion, I consider myself an advocate of
this
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is difficult to create a perfect
society
.
Although
 the government tries to solve almost all problems in their countries, it still has drawbacks. America can be cited as an outstanding example of that, in the previous day authorities do not allow citizens in order to make use of guns but nowadays the ratio of crimes is
hike
Wrong verb form
hiked
show examples
 exponentially leading to the government permitting inhabitants to utilize guns to protect themselves.
As a consequence
, people
abuse
Wrong verb form
abusing
show examples
 guns cause myriads of serious
perpetrator
Fix the agreement mistake
perpetrators
show examples
such
 as murder and robbery.
Hence
, an ideal
society
 is not easy for authorities to make.
While
 making a dream life is one of the most difficult things for the state, they are able to create a satisfying life by various methods. Education can be considered the most important element in helping people have the right aware to avoid committing wicked acts.
For example
, a basic law should be taught in school in order to help dwellers perceive the severe and irreversible consequences of convicting crime, which can reduce the chance to turn into potential criminals.
As a result
, the government had better have a solution so as make
society
 more perfect.
To sum up
,
although
 it is rocky to make an ideal
society
, authorities will have a bunch of tactics to create it.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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