some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

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Recently, there has been a controversial debate over, whether it is beneficial to force children attending to unpaid community services during high school.

for instance

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, involving in charities which are aimed at teaching sports to younger pupils. I strongly, confide with the whole idea, and , the reasons behind that will be explained in the following essay.

Firstly

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, the most vital lesson which an offspring should be learned during childhood is ,definitely, taking care of other people. since it may provide a chance to develop society in a proper way.

therefore

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, taking part in

such

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community services helps youngsters to learn concerning about other people without having financial expectations. an example of

that is

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charity makes students teach others how to work out for free.

Furthermore

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this

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kind of mandatory activity helps some children who can not afford the high cost of learning, get the opportunity to benefit from free lessons.

Moreover

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, it can grow the sense of cooperation in youngsters. Based on a survey conducted by Oxford University, the number of parents who are satisfied with outlined programs

Remove the comma

apply

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comprises more than 90% of all.

hence

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it is evident, that it may raise stronger humankind in terms of personality. To be concluded, I personally stand for the idea of forcing our offspring to do some charity work, as in return, the upcoming society will benefit from more responsible and caring people.

moreover

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, the circumstance will be provided for the students who are talented but not affluent, to be taught for free.

Submitted by asmadehbozorgi on Tue Apr 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

251 words

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some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some part of the world, women are not allowed to vote. What is your opinion about this ?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

improvemnts in health, education and trade are essessential for the development of poorer nations. however, the goverments of richer nations should take responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. to what extend do you agree?

There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?