some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

Recently, there has been a controversial debate over, whether it is beneficial to force children attending to unpaid community services during high school.

for instance

, involving in charities which are aimed at teaching sports to younger pupils. I strongly, confide with the whole idea, and , the reasons behind that will be explained in the following essay.

Firstly

, the most vital lesson which an offspring should be learned during childhood is ,definitely, taking care of other people. since it may provide a chance to develop society in a proper way.

therefore

, taking part in

such

community services helps youngsters to learn concerning about other people without having financial expectations. an example of

that is

charity makes students teach others how to work out for free.

Furthermore

this

kind of mandatory activity helps some children who can not afford the high cost of learning, get the opportunity to benefit from free lessons.

Moreover

, it can grow the sense of cooperation in youngsters. Based on a survey conducted by Oxford University, the number of parents who are satisfied with outlined programs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

comprises more than 90% of all.

hence

it is evident, that it may raise stronger humankind in terms of personality. To be concluded, I personally stand for the idea of forcing our offspring to do some charity work, as in return, the upcoming society will benefit from more responsible and caring people.

moreover

, the circumstance will be provided for the students who are talented but not affluent, to be taught for free.

Submitted by asmadehbozorgi on Tue Apr 25 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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civic engagement
practical skills
real-world experiences
invaluable
burden
impinging
logistical challenges
suitable placements
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promote engagement
enthusiasm
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some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Aircrafts have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the cause for being overweight and provide solutions.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?