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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the present era, children have fewer responsibilities than in the past. Some people consider this as a positive development, others see it as a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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At present there is a tendency of making
children
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 free from the majority of
responsibilities
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 compared with
children
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 in the past. A plethora of people believe that
this
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 leads to negative consequences like not being ready to enter adult
life
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.
However
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, others and I argue that it is a positive development since
children
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 should be free to spend their
time
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 on hobbies, games, and other interests.On the one hand, it is beneficial for every child to be able to be responsible.
In other words
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, they should learn how to make significant decisions and tackle difficulties on their own, as
this
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 helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 rapidly adapt to mature
life
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.
Moreover
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,
responsibilities
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,
such
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 as household chores, are
also
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 a huge advantage because
this
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 makes one more independent in some sense.
For example
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,
according to
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent study,
children
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 from the past, actual adults, took minimum
time
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 to adapt to living without parents since they knew the most important things,
while
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 almost all of the Gen Alpha
children
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 are not able to basically cook.
Nevertheless
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, childhood is considered the brightest
time
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 of every human's
life
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, and forcing adolescents to spend free
time
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 cleaning a house or looking after their younger siblings is not the best way to raise a happy person, because it steals their chance to make friends, find interests, and decide on a future job.
Hence
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, it is reasonable why an increasing number of humans from the new generation are being released from the huge amount of duties. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US
little
Correct word choice
apply
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citizens are less stressed and express their feelings easily because they usually have fewer
responsibilities
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 compared to emotionally unstable Russian and other post-Soviet Union country
children
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.
To conclude
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,
it is clear that
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 loading teenagers with adult
responsibilities
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 can be beneficial to starting adult
life
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 effortlessly and solving their problems, but kids should be allowed to enjoy their childhood;
that is
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 why the modern position of fewer
responsibilities
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 for kids is acquitted.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This helps in improving the logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your main points. Using statistics or direct quotations can help in achieving this.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both sides of the discussion, providing arguments for each perspective as well as your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a comprehensive viewpoint on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitions like 'On the one hand' and 'Nevertheless' helps in logically organizing the points, enhancing reader understanding.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibilities
  • personal development
  • well-rounded
  • physical and mental well-being
  • life skills
  • sense of entitlement
  • real-world challenges
  • sense of independence
  • overly dependent
  • stress-free childhood
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