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some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your oown opinion.

#people #world #oown
Peole
Correct your spelling
People
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different views about whether we are more or less independent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each other nowadays. In my view, modern life
forcses
Correct your spelling
forces
people
 to become more dependent than they used to be. There are two main reasons why it is argued that
people
 rely more on others.
Firstly
,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 students receive
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 them to live on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own. And
manny
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 facts prove
this
 like more students choosing to live in their own house and do part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 when they go the college.
Moreover
, the big and tight
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 have transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 small and
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Hence
,
people
 have to solve many problems by themselves
instead
 of asking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 siblings.
However
, I would agree with those who believe that
people
 are more dependent these days.
Firstly
, in the past,
people
 used to accomplish the whole job by themselves.
However
, to improve the quality and quantity of the work,
people
 are always working in groups nowadays. The job is specified in many
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
show examples
 and different
people
 would
specilase
Correct your spelling
specialise
 in one of them.
Hence
,
people
 are more dependent on
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 during work. Another reason is
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the soaring price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing. Today,
people
 cannot afford the house price on their own so they have to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 parents.
Besides
, in order to purchase the house or just pay the rent of it,
people
 have to bury
themsleves
Correct your spelling
themselves
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 work and
therefore
 more works have to be done by other
people
 like washing clothes , eating and
babysiting
Correct your spelling
babysitting
 etc. In conclusion,
with
Correct word choice
although
show examples
 there are some reasons to believe that
people
 now are more independent, my own view is that now we depend more on each other than before.
Submitted by hszli56 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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