some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your oown opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Peole
Correct your spelling
People
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
different views about whether we are more or less independent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
each other nowadays. In my view, modern life
forcses
Correct your spelling
forces
people
Use synonyms
to become more dependent than they used to be. There are two main reasons why it is argued that
people
Use synonyms
rely more on others.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
students receive
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
them to live on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own. And
manny
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
facts prove
this
Linking Words
like more students choosing to live in their own house and do part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
when they go the college.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the big and tight
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
have transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
small and
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have to solve many problems by themselves
instead
Linking Words
of asking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
siblings.
However
Linking Words
, I would agree with those who believe that
people
Use synonyms
are more dependent these days.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the past,
people
Use synonyms
used to accomplish the whole job by themselves.
However
Linking Words
, to improve the quality and quantity of the work,
people
Use synonyms
are always working in groups nowadays. The job is specified in many
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
show examples
and different
people
Use synonyms
would
specilase
Correct your spelling
specialise
in one of them.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are more dependent on
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
during work. Another reason is
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the soaring price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing. Today,
people
Use synonyms
cannot afford the house price on their own so they have to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents.
Besides
Linking Words
, in order to purchase the house or just pay the rent of it,
people
Use synonyms
have to bury
themsleves
Correct your spelling
themselves
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
work and
therefore
Linking Words
more works have to be done by other
people
Use synonyms
like washing clothes , eating and
babysiting
Correct your spelling
babysitting
etc. In conclusion,
with
Correct word choice
although
show examples
there are some reasons to believe that
people
Use synonyms
now are more independent, my own view is that now we depend more on each other than before.
Submitted by hszli56 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: