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Band 5

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment.

#tourism #benefit #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants #environment
Nowadays, international
tourism
 has become more famous for all countries in the world because it brings many advantages, but for all pros, there are cons following, and I will give the reasons in
this
 essay. Many countries, including Indonesia, are developing their
tourism
 massively. Social media is key that Indonesia can show the best places to visit
such
 as Bali, Raja Ampat, and Nusa Tenggara Timur. The benefits are government, and local
people
 get income from it. For illustrate, government get income from Visa, and local
people
 get money from renting their house to tourist or selling food. Many jobs are created in the
tourism
 business.
On the other hand
, becoming famous is not always good. From what I see, many places are damaged because of
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of new buildings
such
 as hotels and resorts.
Moreover
, local inhabitants that live in one place for hundred years ago will disappear because of greedy
people
, their homes and land will
buoyed
Change the verb form
be buoyed
show examples
 by international investors and they will move from their ancestor land. The
people
 want all benefits and forget that their start to damage the environment. For illustrate, a turtle that lay
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 eggs on
Correct article usage
a spesific
show examples
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 beach for hundreds of years is threatened by hotel construction close to its beach.
In addition
,
people
 in Indonesia are not good to manage their trash and it will become
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 problem for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
To conclude
, I agree that global
tourism
 has many advantages for humans but we can not forget that we live on earth and we
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 with other living things. If the government can make good regulations on how to run
tourism
 correctly, it will benefit can make good regulations on how to run
tourism
 in the right way, it will have benefits for us and other living things.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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