You have seen an advertisement in Australian magazines for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child write a letter # Explain why you would like this # Give detail of why you are a suitable person to employ # Say how would you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazines #someone #six #months #child #detail #person #time #australia

Dear Sir and Madam, I am Ella Khin from Yangon, Myanmar. I am writing to express my interest to apply

the

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for the

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job announcement which you published in an Australian magazine about the need to have a caregiver for your child for

certain

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a certain

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period.

This

the

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great opportunity that I would like to widen my horizon since I enjoy travelling to new places and

explore

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exploring

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the

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apply

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different cultures and people around the world.

Moreover

, Australia is one of the countries that I

destined

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am destined

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to visit

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my dream bucket list. For the eligibility of the position, I believe I have a good experience with kids because I volunteered as a teacher for one year at

the

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non-profit nursery school during my university gap year.

Additionally

, I am currently studying at the faculty of psychology that I possess a deep understanding of

children

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children's

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natures and behaviors.

Furthermore

, during my spare time, I would like to go around Australia to visit famous attractions

such

as beaches, deserts and wildlife centuries.

Also

, I will make new friends to expand my social connection. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have

further

questions. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully, Ella Khin

Submitted by shooneaindraykhin on Tue Apr 25 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

202 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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