IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates
pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
 types to and from the school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, she
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
clearly
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 the changes
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of different modes of transport in 1990 and after 20 years.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, we see, that the biggest changes were
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the two different modes of
travel
Use synonyms
.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 type is
vehicle
Add an article
a vehicle
the vehicle
show examples
, at the beginning usage amounts
only
Change preposition
to only
show examples
millions
Change preposition
to millions
show examples
 per year, but
since
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, the index became three times higher. The second increased
trips
Change the noun form
trip
show examples
 rate was walking, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was about twelve
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and through the decades decreased twice. The most lower index
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2010 was cycling and walking and bus,
that is
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 decreased rates since 1990. We can see that almost stable remain the bus
travel
Use synonyms
 type. All in all, we can obviously see
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 through the two decades, dramatically decrease
active
Change preposition
in active
show examples
 type of travelling to and from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school. And through the innovation, the most usable method became
travel
Use synonyms
 by car.
Submitted by evaivodiss2005 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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