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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
Nowadays, having a gap
year
 after high school is trendy among
students
 before attending their universities.
While
this
 offers a few advantages, there are
also
 some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits to youngsters for having a break before university.
Firstly
, they will be able to look for jobs during the
year
 off. When
students
 work, they will
be earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
 not only the necessary skills and competencies but
also
 the income.
As a result
, their strong financial saving will support them to less worry
while
 attending the
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
 and working experiences are
also
 applicable
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their studies. Another advantage of taking a study pause is the fact that they can see the world outside
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 by travelling around. Only when they explore new places, they will gain knowledge and exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 human
natures
Fix the agreement mistake
nature
show examples
 which can enlighten them with maturity.
However
, there still are some disadvantages
ought
Correct pronoun usage
that ought
show examples
 to be noted. In the first place, the attractive income could cause some
students
 not
returning
Change the verb form
to return
show examples
 to classrooms. They become financially independent which motivates them to think that earning is more important than attending universities.
Furthermore
, getting a study break is
such
 a waste of time. It could be hard to focus
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 again if they mismanage the school mode of life.
As for
Change preposition
For
show examples
 sure, they may fall one
year
 behind
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with their peer classmates who graduate ahead. In conclusion, if
students
 take a
year
 off, they will learn to appreciate the value of money and be mature enough to handle
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, they may
also
 be less
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in education and delay in studies than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is important to
consider
Rephrase
carefully consider
show examples
 the positives against the negatives carefully
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
students
 should take a break or not.
Submitted by shooneaindraykhin on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented. The main points are somewhat supported, but the essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it difficult to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a generally complete response to the question, with relevant ideas presented. However, the ideas could be more fully developed and examples should be more specific and detailed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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