Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays there are a lot of interesting games, films and video clips,… posted on some network

foundation

Fix the agreement mistake

foundations

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like Youtube, Pop

kids

Correct your spelling

Kids

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and Netflix,…

Therefore

, some children are attracted by those things and they waste hours

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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on their tablet and their phone to enjoy it. I think

this

negative

Add an article

a negative

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activity. The harm of using smartphones excessively

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

discussed in

this

essay.

First,

This

case is a negative development because when they use extreme, their eyes will be affected, they can be nearsighted even blind, so it’s too

blur

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blurry

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to look or read

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

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Second,

Forwarding

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by Forwarding

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

messages and sharing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

videos online regarding humanity, one might forget the real meaning behind

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. When you focus on your phone and everyone talks to you but you can’t hear it.

Then

everyone doesn’t play with u anymore.

Third,

you do not have much time to

talking

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talk

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sharing

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with your family. Family is one of the most important

thing

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things

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that everyone loves. but when you do not care

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about

show examples

them. They will think you are

change

Wrong verb form

changed

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or you do not attention even

you

Correct word choice

if you

show examples

do not love them anymore.

Then

, your family will be sad and cry because they made you but when you grow

that

Change preposition

up that

show examples

you do not care

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for

show examples

them.So, if you watch films or play games, You need to take care

your

Change preposition

of your

show examples

family alter play games all day. In conclusion, you should use

Correct pronoun usage

your smartphone

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

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right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

ways.

Besides

that, you need to distinguish wrong from right. So,

lets

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let's

let us

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use

Correct article usage

a smartphone

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

logicaly

Correct your spelling

logically

logical

Submitted by nqhuy.ir on Wed Apr 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the opinion that food should be transported from one place to the other, while others are of the opinion that people should consume locally produced food. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages