Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays there are a lot of interesting games, films and video clips,… posted on some network
foundation
Fix the agreement mistake
foundations
show examples
like Youtube, Pop
kids
Correct your spelling
Kids
show examples
and Netflix,…
Therefore
, some children are attracted by those things and they waste hours
everyday
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every day
show examples
on their tablet and their phone to enjoy it. I think
this
is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
activity. The harm of using smartphones excessively
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
discussed in
this
essay.
First,
This
case is a negative development because when they use extreme, their eyes will be affected, they can be nearsighted even blind, so it’s too
blur
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blurry
show examples
to look or read
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
.
Second,
Forwarding
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by Forwarding
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
messages and sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
videos online regarding humanity, one might forget the real meaning behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. When you focus on your phone and everyone talks to you but you can’t hear it.
Then
everyone doesn’t play with u anymore.
Third,
you do not have much time to
talking
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talk
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or
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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with your family. Family is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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that everyone loves. but when you do not care
to
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about
show examples
them. They will think you are
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
or you do not attention even
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
do not love them anymore.
Then
, your family will be sad and cry because they made you but when you grow
that
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up that
show examples
you do not care
to
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for
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them.So, if you watch films or play games, You need to take care
your
Change preposition
of your
show examples
family alter play games all day. In conclusion, you should use
Correct pronoun usage
your smartphone
show examples
smartphone
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smartphones
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in
right
Correct article usage
the right
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ways.
Besides
that, you need to distinguish wrong from right. So,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
use
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
logicaly
Correct your spelling
logically
logical
!
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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