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Band 6.5

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment- doing things they like to do rather than

#people #time #enjoyment-
Time
 is
money
 in the modern day. Some
people
 believe that individuals are mostly busy with doing the
things
 which they enjoy,
while
 others argue that
people
 are busier with the
things
 that they were obligated to do. From my perspective, I think that nowadays
people
 do not have enough
time
 to engage in their hobbies. I feel
this
 way for a number of reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, in modern life, one of the main factors is
money
. If a person does not have a proper
job
, he will not have a decent income to sustain the family. For earning more
money
 and fulfil the demands of the family, one should devote his
time
 and energy to his
job
. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. I am working as an accountant for five years and I was planning to prepare to get a master’s degree in science after two years of
work
 experience. I have no
money
 to fulfil
this
 dream, nor the
time
 to prepare. I only could earn income for my daily needs, despite the fact that I
work
 from nine to six for five days.
Secondly
, folks are busy with their
job
,
thus
 they hardly have
time
 to do the
things
 that they want to accomplish. In modern life, everyone should
work
 in order to have a normal life. If one works, he will probably have energy after the
job
 to do the
things
 which interest him. Most works take eight hours daily.
Besides
, it takes at least a half hour to commute to the office.
As a result
,
people
 will not have enough
time
, and energy to do personal stuff.
To sum up
, I personally believe that modern folks are mostly busy with the
things
 which they are obligated to rather than doing the stuff for their own enjoyment.
This
 is because individuals should
work
 in order to meet the demands of their families and they do not have
time
 to engage with personal interests.
Submitted by susanna.alberto084 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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