All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. Obesity affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How can it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

Nowadays,

obesity

has a significant impact on

children

and adults across the globe. In

this

essay, I will discuss the causes of the increase in

obesity

and provide some ideas to face

this

serious issue. One of the main reasons for

this

rise in

obesity

is the habit of eating fast

food

and ready meals. Some

people

find it very convenient to buy these types of processed

food

as they are very convenient for a busy life,

however

, they are high in trans fats and low in nutrients which increase the risk of diabetes.

Secondly

people

rely on cars to take

children

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to their jobs.

Besides

that,

children

spend hours playing video games and adults, as well, watch films on Netflix or chat with friends on social media or whats app. Back in the day,

children

used to play in the streets ,

although

, these days parents find

this

very dangerous as crime has increased in most parts of the world.

Finally

, there are more

people

working in customer service or retail than working in a factory doing a manual job. Doing a physical job allows individuals to burn calories easily meanwhile in customer service or retail,

people

are most of the time working over the phone or

sat

Change the form of the verb

sitting

show examples

. To tackle

obesity

children

and adults the government should reduce the price of healthy

food

such

as vegetables and fruits and increase the price of processed

food

such

as ready meals and frozen

food

. Another solution could be to ban cars from cities and promote cycling to access the city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Finally

, junk

food

should be banned from schools and public settings in order to encourage

people

to have a healthy diet.

To conclude

obesity

is a complex public health problem with different factors to take into account. The government should take measures to encourage

people

to have a healthy diet and promote exercise.

Submitted by melisarf on Wed Apr 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. Obesity affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How can it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?