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Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantage of this is outweigh the Like disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity #advantage
Nowadays, the demand for gas and oil is escalating day by day. It is an important step to find out other
sources
 from the lonely and untouched area.
Although
 it has some advantages, I personally perceive that not only does
this
 improve job opportunities but
also
 becomes a pollution-free environment advantage which far surpasses its demerits. First and foremost, the underlying benefit associated with the trend for new
sources
 in remote areas is the development of job vacancies. To be more specific, through research and development in undeveloped ,area various new
sources
 of energy find out which can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 in place of gas namely biogas. These developments required labour through
this
 increase in demand for workers.
Hence
, improvement in the living standard of that particular area.
For example
, The Times published in 2020, with the adoption of new
sources
 of energy and unemployment decreases. Moving on, another worth mentioning point is
also
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefits
show examples
 in terms of reduction in pollution.
This
 is because, using natural resources like wind,water , sun and nuclear improves the pollution level because of the decrease in temperature. To epitomise, Tim Copper, from Sheffield Hallam University in the UK researched that by using natural resources, people
also
 live healthier lives.
However
,
on the contrary
, the attributed drawback related to
this
 is
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a lot of funding at the start for the use of natural resources and
this
 is
also
 the main reason behind the pinnacle in natural calamities. In conclusion, development in remote areas has various merits like reduction in unemployment and improved atmosphere, despite there being some flaws. If the government plan it in a strategic way
then
 negative points can be reduced. From my perspective, I am certain that its advantages
outstrip
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 its disadvantages.
Submitted by parvinderp93 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks coherence and coherence. The structure of your essay needs improvement. The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented. The main points are not effectively supported.
task achievement
Your essay only partially responds to the task. Make sure you address all aspects of the prompt and express your opinion clearly. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points and ensure ideas are presented comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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