IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The government should spend money on promoting sports and art in schools, rather than sponsoring Professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sports #art #schools #events #communities
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The view of
a
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apply
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society is divided on whether the government should spend money
in
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on
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development
Correct article usage
the development
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sports
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of sports
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 and
art
 in schools or for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
sports
 and
art
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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. I agree with the
later
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latter
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 point of view Reasoning for my view is explained in
following
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the following
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 paragraphs. To commence with, a professional sportsperson or an artist represents a nation across the globe. For them to flourish their skills at the
mega events
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mega-events
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, they need to focus on their skills. In order to do that they would require a
first class
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first-class
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 facility and environment. The most iconic batsman Sachin might not be enjoying his success today if he was not assisted at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of his career. Another music
mestro
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maestro
metro
 Pandit Ravi Shankar was
sponsred
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sponsored
 by
state
Add an article
the state
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 for learning
flute
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the flute
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 during his college period which made him today's
renonwed
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renowned
 musician all over the world.
Moreover
, If the money is diverted
in
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into
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 communities, it would attract more
person
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people
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 to join
sports
ot
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or
art
 as a career.As more often at
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 level children participate in various
and
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apply
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drama but after schooling they do not choose it as their profession. A report in
Times
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the Times
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 of India says, 80% of students after passing out their school,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 not played their favourite game or played
instrument
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an instrument
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 they used to.
In addition
 to
this
 professional
sportsman
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sportsmen
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of
Correct your spelling
or
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artist
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artists
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 can inspire many youngsters.
To conclude
,
although
 spending money for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
sports
 and
art
 in school is necessary,I strongly believe that the more the fund allocated to society more it gives back to the nation.
Submitted by robinmacwan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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