IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what soluitons can you suggest?

#internet #information #soluitons
In the contemporary world, the
internet
 has improved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 and a lot of information is
sharing
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 which has resulted in
severeal
Correct your spelling
severe
 issues. In
this
 essay, which problems have existed and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be solved
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 It is evident that at present, more and more
people
 are using and sharing an abundance number of information on the
Internet
although
this
 use of the
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
 has greatly increased the level of communication available,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it has had detrimental effects on the amount and type of the
Internet
.
People
 start meeting their relatives less often than before the
inventation
Correct your spelling
invention
 of the
Internet
. and they begin to live an unsocial lifestyle.
Secondly
,
people
todays
Correct your spelling
today
 read all news or whatever they have to do on the
Internet
. If they need to learn any kind of topic they just prefer to search in
browser
Add an article
the browser
show examples
.
Moreover
, the most imperative problem is
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
 can not believe easily
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Internet
 site, where the privacy of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 is in danger and in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
this
 hackers enable to unlock the password which is perfectly easy for them.
Furthermore
, using a long period of
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to cause eyesights problems which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 significant for human health. That said, there is no doubt that all these negative
impact
Change the determiner
impacts
show examples
 have to solve by one who can really create a new solution of that.
In addition
, it is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 should use the
Internet
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 time
due to
 their
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
,
as well as
 humans tend to reduce their use of
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
 and prefer to share their news with their family members or friends. One of the essential
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 is to build new security programs on sites.
To conclude
, the
internet
 has been changed to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 and sharing information
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
 different ways and
besides
 it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 new issues where
people
 have used it.
However
, there have a lot of solutions where they are able to solve them.
Submitted by sadiqlisara95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: