IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: - Explain why you are unhappy - Request a refund - Make arrangements to return the damaged item

#item #store #retailer #request #refund #arrangements
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Dear Mr. Thomas, I hope
this
 email finds you in good health. I am writing
this
 email to express concern about the
product
 that I bought from your online store a couple of days ago.
Firstly
, the type of the
product
 was a laptop mouse (Logitec brand) which I ordered and paid for through the online store on the 15th of May. But it was really disappointing for me when I received
this
product
 in broken condition.
Besides
, I did not expect
this
 kind of
product
 service from your store. Since I will not be able to use the broken
product
, I am sending
this
 computer mouse addressed to you very soon by the renowned courier service named "DHL".
Hence
, I would like to request you to refund the amount that I paid for
this
 damaged mouse. I hope you will investigate
this
 matter properly and will take the initiative to return my paid amount. Yours faithfully, Shai Hope
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Remember to use a variety of connective words to link your ideas more smoothly and to help the reader follow your argument more easily. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' etc.
Coherence and cohesion
Make sure your letter has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce a new idea or point, followed by supporting sentences.
Task Achievement
Stay on topic and ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall purpose of the letter. If possible, elaborate more on why the damaged product is unacceptable, perhaps by mentioning any inconvenience it has caused.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is generally suitable; it's polite and formal. However, adding a sentence expressing hope for a continued good business relationship may further enhance the suitability of the tone.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the closing of the letter is appropriate, consider using a more formal sign-off such as 'Sincerely' when writing complaint letters. It can add to the seriousness of your request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my disappointment
  • I regret to inform you that
  • I am dissatisfied with the item I received
  • The item arrived damaged
  • The product is in unsatisfactory condition
  • I expected better quality
  • I would like to request a refund
  • I kindly ask for your assistance in resolving this matter
  • I would appreciate it if you could provide instructions
  • I suggest arranging a pick-up service
  • I expect a prompt response and resolution
  • I hope for a satisfactory outcome
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