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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologist #work #five #years #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates what work graduates of anthropology
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a particular University after obtaining their
first degree
Add a hyphen
first-degree
show examples
 certificate.
While
Linking Words
 the table gives information on the
range
Use synonyms
 of salaries of
Anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
anthropologists
show examples
 in service for
5years
Correct your spelling
5 years
.
Overall
Linking Words
,we can deduce from the pie chart that more than half of the
Anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
anthropologists
show examples
 work as
full-time
Add an article
a full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the least of the graduates combine work and study. We can
also
Linking Words
 see from the table that the
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
show examples
 employers were the government workers and
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
lowest paid
Add a hyphen
lowest-paid
show examples
 are those in the private sector.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we could see from the pie chart that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 (52%) of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduate Anthropologist are full-time
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, followed by
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
show examples
 of graduates (15%) working part-time jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,12% of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 experts are jobless and 8% are into conventional postgraduate study and those studying combine with
postgraduate
Add an article
the postgraduate
show examples
 study have the least proportion of 5%. Moving forward to the table, the data shows that the salary
range
Use synonyms
 varies from one sector to the other.Private employees had the highest proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income($25000-40000) and the other two
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
 with the same ratio of 5%.
This
Linking Words
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for the salary
range
Use synonyms
($50000-74999) with
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
 sector having
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 category.
Moreover
Linking Words
, freelance consultants had the highest fraction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(40%) in
salary
Add an article
a salary
the salary
show examples
range
Use synonyms
 of ($75000-99999) and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government workers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
 percentage(50,%) in people earning over $100000.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words range with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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