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Band 4.5

Write on the following topic. The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience. You should write at least 250words.

#topic #function #music #people #stress #expirience
The magic of melody as a tool for curbing
stress
 among individuals can not be overemphasized.
However
, I
also
 believe that hanging out with folk is paramount.
This
 essay will discuss the vital concept of
music
 as it affects individuals
tackle
Fix the infinitive
to tackle
show examples
stress
 in a positive way,
in addition
, going to renditions, and  catching up with family is another vital instrument with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, I strongly believe that melody has in itself a soothing potential to virtually ease up every form of
stress
 in
people
 every now and
then
.
Although
,
people
, might respond differently to different forms of
music
 based on their peculiarity and taste for types of melody like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
  pop, blues, rap or
regae
Correct your spelling
reggae
music
.  Notwithstanding, the source and nature of
stress
 whether physical, psychological or emotional, do find rest and ease with the sound of
music
. A visit to rendition could do the magic as well.
Furthermore
, an example of the significance of
musical
Correct article usage
a musical
show examples
 soundtrack to the unborn.
According to
 obstetrics and gynaecologists, the unborn though in the womb, yet they
responds
Change the verb form
respond
show examples
 to the sound of
music
 whenever they are in distress and or they're
swaving
Correct your spelling
saving
waving
swaying
 position they
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be gentle with their kicks and remain calm at the sound of
music
 from stereo or their mother's voice.  
Also
, whenever, someone is blue, or depressed and unhappy,
music
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 number one therapy to calm one's
trouble
Replace the word
troubled
show examples
 mind, medically it has been proven that as you get to listen to sounds, the effects
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 deep down to connect to your mind, spirit thereby relieving whatever form of pains, agony or
stress
. To
this
 day
music
 has been adopted as a means of therapy to
people
 with psychosomatic illness.
In addition
, catching up and hanging out with folks
also
 has a way of
tacking
Correct your spelling
taking
show examples
 the negative effects of
stress
 on
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
, which is why bonding with family members, gives one a sense of belonging and support, it eradicates the pains of
stress
 and creates an atmosphere of peace and serenity it
therefore
, assist
people
phase
Add the particle
to phase
show examples
 out the detrimental consequences of
stress
. So, it's often great to catch up with families during meal times, vacations or
outing
Fix the agreement mistake
outings
show examples
. I
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
 the other hand, have a knack for fishing with my siblings anytime I'm stressed out from work. We usually go to a small river just
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the outskirts of my locality and spend the whole day fishing and roasting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fish we caught
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the river banks from the fire we made out of chopped
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
 gotten from close by bushes. Before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sunset I usually get over the
streeful
Correct your spelling
stressful
 situation that had engulfed me. In conclusion,
music
 is an enormous and
effectual
Replace the word
effective
show examples
 therapy
that is
 used, and still is and would continue to be in use as an instrument which is widely effective for
stress
 management.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the spirit of belonging and the comfort of folks do play a significant role
getting
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
 rid of
stress
 in individuals. So whenever you feel stressed out
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
 with family, listen to sounds of
music
 and visit any rendition.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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