IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress . To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples form your own knowledge or experience.

#function #music #people #stress #form
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The most irrelevant purpose of
music
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 to
individuals
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 is helping in decreasing Apprehensiveness caused by our daily
activities
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.
To begin
Linking Words
,
stress
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 is exhibited by our body when it is exhausted either physically from daily
activities
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 and
work
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, emotionally,
mentally
Correct word choice
or mentally
show examples
, and people have different coping mechanisms to
stress
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
likes
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 drinking water, sleeping , watching tv and equally listening to
music
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. Listening to
music
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 has a greater part in
stress
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 reduction it has been found to be very helpful to
individuals
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 who experience tension
as a result
Linking Words
 of
work
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.
Music
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 comes in different forms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the likes of hip hop, jazz, worship songs and
fugii
Correct your spelling
fungi
fugit
.
Music
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 has helped me a lot to cope with
stress
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 after my daily
activities
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 and coming back
fro
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
work
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 sometimes I feel so exhausted when I listened to
music
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 I feel elated and renewed
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Furthermore
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,
music
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 has helped
individuals
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 when they are emotionally stressed out, most especially in the likes of worship songs, bringing back the mood of
such
Linking Words
individuals
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, I remember a day I returned from
work
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 after a long day with a busy shift
coupled with
Linking Words
 I lost my money and I was extremely down and stressed after listening to
a particular worship songs
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular worship songs
a particular worship song
show examples
 I regained myself and my lost energy and I was able to prepare for
work
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 the following day. In conclusion,
music
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 has been helpful in the reduction of
stress
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,a lot of
individuals
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been able to cope with
stress
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 and continue with their daily
activities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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