In most of countries, with the widespread use of the Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #internet #people #freedom #work #study #home #college

Nowadays, more and more companies allow their employees to work from

home

and many students are allowed to study at

home

. Some

people

think

this

can lead to some benefits. But I think

this

trend brings more disadvantages than advantages. It is undeniable that working or studying at

home

can give us more freedom than going to schools and offices. We do not have to spend time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

preparing outfits and travelling to work so it gives us more time to sleep or relax. By the way, we are

also

able to arrange our daily routine more conveniently and change it easily.

In addition

, many

people

feel that

home

working helps them work much better. They explain that, at

home

. there is no noise from the others and they

also

do not need to care about anything else.

However

, staying at

home

a lot can make many

people

suffer from physical and mental problems. Laziness is one of the most considerable reasons for

this

like you are not willing to get up and do exercise every morning.

Moreover

although

we get it easy to arrange our daily schedule, we will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack of motivation to get out to buy something or visit friends and family. Some figures show that almost all young

people

who have a remote job at

home

spend very little time on outside meetings and gatherings.

On the other hand

, I think students need to go to schools and universities in order to gain

the

Correct article usage

show examples

whole understanding of lessons and have good results because as some research, students who study at

home

are less concentrated on what teachers say than other peers. In conclusion,

although

working and studying at

home

are

Change the verb form

show examples

sometimes useful, the drawbacks of

this

trend outweigh the benefits.

Submitted by hihihahahoho on Thu Apr 27 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In most of countries, with the widespread use of the Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is better to have a single legal system worldwide. Others say countries should have their law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact in sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?