Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some would argue that higher
education
is the key to obtaining better employment
while
others think that gaining
experience
is the better way to employment. In my opinion, I believe that for obtaining a job both
education
as well as
experience
serve better in terms of staying employed;
moreover
, it depends upon the occupation. On the one hand, a university
education
plays an essential role in each individual life to get employed in a reputed company. Some particular fields like the doctor, engineering, pilot, science and Business management
are required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
one to complete a degree in order to practice or obtain a job because these types of work need a piece of specialized knowledge
to begin
their career;
however
,
education
and higher degree provides
this
kind of skills to individual.
For example
, some companies are looking forward more to educational certificates and
this
determines the salary package and
also
helps to fetch a high income.
Thus
, educational attainment and income are closely correlated, typically leading to higher salaries.
On the other hand
, there are some benefits if students start working early. Some industries do not require any degree
instead
more
experience
is needed.
For instance
, some jobs like fashion design, photography, dancing, and singers are more likely to gain excellence in their respective fields through early and continuous exposure. Many professional artists have never seen the doors of any university, even though they are earning high incomes
due to
their knowledge in those fields. These people created a platform which is based on real practice rather than learning through theories which are designed in a standard way.
Hence
, to shine in some industries dedication is more important than qualification.
To conclude
, there are some types of work that require better learning and certification;
nevertheless
, certain profession only depends on how the individual is exposed to that particular task. I believe that both college graduation and work
experience
should be the right proposition and that can guarantee a good career.
Submitted by rajipeter3011 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and expressing a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited, and the conclusion could be more decisive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points lack sufficient support and coherence is weakened by the lack of clear transitions between ideas.
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