IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams display the life cycle of the salmon, which is a large fish species.

The diagrams display the life cycle of the salmon, which is a large fish species.
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The flow chart illustrates the information about
salmon
Use synonyms
 from
eggs
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 to
adult
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fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
adult
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 salmons put their
eggs
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 around small stones and reeds.
By
Change preposition
In
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this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
,way
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 the fishes safe
eggs
Use synonyms
 in an upper
river
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 with
slow moving
Add a hyphen
slow-moving
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 approx 5-6 months.
On
Change preposition
In
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 the next stage,
fry
Use synonyms
appear
Change the verb form
appears
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 from the
eggs
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they move to a lower
river
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 where water
flow
Change the verb form
flows
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 faster
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 in an upper
river
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. The
fry
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spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 in
this
Linking Words
 area around 4 years and becomes
smolt
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.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 place
for
Change preposition
to
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 stay is an open sea where
Use synonyms
smolt
Correct your spelling
Smolt
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 live
during
Change preposition
for
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 about 5 years. Eventually,
adult
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salmon
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 move back to the upper
river
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, and the cycle repeats. It is noticeable that the
fry
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 is just 3-8 cm fish,
smolt
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 is 12-15 cm fish.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
adult
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salmon
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 has the biggest size (70-76 cm).
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
salmon
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 life cycle
include
Change the verb form
includes
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 three main stages
such
Linking Words
 as the
fry
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,
smolt
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, and
adult
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salmon
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, eggs, adult, river, fry, smolt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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