IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Q:Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones ,while others disagree.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, most
children
Use synonyms
 use a mobile phone
espasilay
Correct your spelling
easily
 above thirteen years old because needed to study and communicate with colleagues and friends. So some
parents
Use synonyms
 think it is a great idea to take a cell phone to
children
Use synonyms
 to take care of them, opposite that opinion
parents
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't need because there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of tools
instead
Linking Words
 mobile phones.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are a
lot
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 of apps and web site for
children
Use synonyms
 these days and we can support for
parents
Use synonyms
 to study and improve their
children
Use synonyms
 . For ,example Cambly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 Cambly learns English for adults and
children
Use synonyms
, the kids who study every day with native speakers and give them
mistke
Correct your spelling
mistakes
 them,
addition
Replace the word
add
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cambly
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
website in Saudi Arabia is called Eye, The Eye is web site supported by the Ministry of Education, the
learn
Change the form of the verb
learning
show examples
 for a student from primary to high school and give them explain for all subject every time. The other opinion about giving mobile phones to
children
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 they said there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of problems with
this
Linking Words
 because the
children
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 do not understand and have clear views for use mobile,
due to
Linking Words
 some
children
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 using it without known
parents
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are many tools and advice we can use
instead
Linking Words
 mobile like computer or laptop. In conclusion, in my opinion is good to give their
children
Use synonyms
 mobile phones because
a
Correct pronoun usage
it a
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of advantages for them and more support for studying and improving themself but they don't mean it does not care for them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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