New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #jobs #people #computers #robots #development

The development in

artificial

Correct article usage

the artificial

show examples

intelalent

Correct your spelling

intelligent

intellect

field

enable

Change the verb form

enables

show examples

computers to conduct more and more

sophistic

Replace the word

sophisticated

show examples

tasks, including writing articles and collecting information in dangerous areas, which were performed by

human

Add an article

a human

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being. Despite concerns are rise in

public

Correct article usage

the public

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regarding a great amount of job opportunities

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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going to vanish, I personally believe it is a positive trend.

To begin

with, there are various merits derived from applying modern technologies in widely professional aspects. First of all, robots which are able to replace

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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for doing high-risk missions, including exploring in extreme environments, could deter many safety hazards.

For example

, scientists nowadays are able to

sent

Change the form of the verb

send

show examples

robots into

deep

Correct article usage

the deep

show examples

ocean for finding new species, those robots could endure a long time remaining in the ocean, which allows

researcher

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researchers

show examples

find

Fix the infinitive

to find

show examples

more valuable data.

Secondly

instead

of simply

complete

Wrong verb form

completing

show examples

repeatable works, AI technology nowadays

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

able to make

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good use of its giant

data base

Correct your spelling

database

show examples

for creation. Take newspapers as an example, those reports which just simply elucidate facts are mainly done by computers, employees just need to provide key

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

such

as dates and the name of people who

involved

Add a missing verb

are involved

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in incidents.

On the other hand

while

a growing number of job positions are replaced by AI technology, some perspectives

warning

Wrong verb form

warn

show examples

that it could provokes a growth in

Correct article usage

the unemployeement

show examples

unemployeement

Correct your spelling

unemployment

rate.

Furthermore

, it will be harder for employees in the future to have a raise, since computers are able to tackle the most of hard

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

However

, those issues could be solved by governments with proper regulations, including providing regular financial subsidies to ensure the basic life quality of residents

Remove the comma

apply

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and providing free services for medical

cares

Fix the agreement mistake

care

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. To summarise, it is inevitable that modern

techonologies

Correct your spelling

technologies

will demolish the majority of job positions in the future

Remove the comma

apply

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since they are able to provide more stable and efficient services. In my perspective, even though it will cause many people

lost

Change the verb form

to lose

show examples

their jobs, I still consider it

Correct your spelling

show examples

positive development, since our

descendents

Correct your spelling

descendants

may no longer need to work for money in the future, when technology could satisfy all the needs of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Fri Apr 28 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.

Discuss the importance of art education in schools. How does exposure to art impact students’ creativity and overall development?

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.