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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

#countries #government #amount #money #internet #access
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One
 of the most vital trends in today's
world
 is the colossal upsurge in the fact that the Government
expending
Wrong verb form
is spending
show examples
 a huge amount of money on providing better
World
wide
Correct your spelling
Wide Web
show examples
web
 access in different nations.
This
 will lead to a myriad of concerns in the
world
.
Due to
 the competitive market
internet
 provider introduces new plans which attract the common nation
as well as
 society.
However
,
this
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the
Internet
, using a pragmatic approach. To commence with, there are numerous factors in favour of my statement and the most preponderant
one
 is that through proper access to the
web
, people are able to find stability towards their work,
this
 approach not only includes the betterment of society, but it
also
 includes for the positive development of every individual on the planet. population can
also
 improve their skills and learn new techniques. ,
Also
 they become able to perform well in competitive markets with a great deal of efficacy and convenience. Another crucial factor in the aforementioned statement is that
Internet
,
nowadays
Rephrase
apply
show examples
every single aspect happens through the
Internet
.
For example
,
due to
 the rising trend of working from home, a person can work remotely from anywhere in the
world
 and create a source of income for themselves.
Additionally
, It is only likely to assist
one
 to gain flourish, progress and excel in a variety of fields and disciplines. People can
also
 expand their horizons and quality of living standard.
Hence
, it is evident why many are in favour of the
World
 Wide
Web
.
Lastly
, in conclusion, I opine the view that the
Internet
 has vast knowledge and the government should take some initiatives in educating its citizens against the negative impacts of the overuse of the
web
Capitalize word
Web
show examples
.
Furthermore
, citizens
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
 to follow the applicable rules,
as well as
 laws and regulations towards the unnecessary surfing of wrong links and information. The
Internet
 provides mutual relations between
one
 person to another.
Submitted by payaljaiswal0602 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some structure and organization but lacks clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are somewhat supported but need more elaboration and specific examples.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting some relevant points, but lacks a clear and comprehensive response. It also lacks specific examples to support the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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