Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many peope believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their childern. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
Recent
Fix capitalization
recent

Recent does not appear to be a proper noun. Consider lowercasing it.

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decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades

It seems that decade may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, There is no doubt that people are becoming
more and more busy
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busier and busier
busier

You have used the compound adjective more and more busy. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

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. Recently, studies showed that social
obstancles
Correct your spelling
obstacles

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between
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

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increasing
drammtically
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dramatically

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.
While
Linking Words

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some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts

It seems that part may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of society believe that the problem is
due to
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents

It seems that parent may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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spending huge
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at work ,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others

It seems that other may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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reject
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion. In my view,
Add an article
the parent
a parent

The noun phrase parent seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents

It seems that parent may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should place more effort
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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enjoying
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

special
Correct your spelling
teenagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers

If you don’t want tennagers to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

tennagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
, who are the fuel of societies
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, One of
key
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the key

The noun phrase key and foremost reason seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and foremost
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

concern is that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are easily influenced
with
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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environment
Add an article
the environment

The noun phrase environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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around
Correct pronoun usage
themaround

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, so
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents

It seems that parent may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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must to beside teenagers and guide them in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

stage.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must give
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

their own space to build their personalities and to boost
confident
Replace the word
confidence

The word confident doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. by making
them
Change the pronoun
their

It appears that the personal pronoun them should be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

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choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices

It seems that choice may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and make
desicions
Correct your spelling
decisions

If you don’t want desicions to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

feel scared and worried about their sons and daughter at
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

age and some act with
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge

It appears that the phrase huge number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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number of
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions

It seems that restriction may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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destroying the
child
Change noun form
child's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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mental health.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may give more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to hear their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The word Further more seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must believe that obstacle of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

generation is completely different from past period and to communicate with
new
Correct article usage
the new

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must adapt to the way of thinking of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

generation . On balance , I believe that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must spend more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and always try to guide them to take the right choices in
world
Add an article
a world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that has many bad influencing aspects.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • supervision
  • guidance
  • emotional support
  • peer groups
  • negative influences
  • quality family time
  • exacerbating
  • psychological development
  • neglect
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • societal pressures
  • availability
  • after-school activities
  • multifaceted approach
What to do next:
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