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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometers #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions
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In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
graph
Use synonyms
 presented it is comparing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2005. the two pie charts represent the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of material that it is being used on. the
graph
Use synonyms
 analyzes a
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
 difference in
Energy
Use synonyms
Production
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can notice a slight
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both gas and coal. The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows how neither gas
and
Correct word choice
nor
show examples
 coal
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 saw a higher
increase
Use synonyms
 than 2%, showing
it´s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 consistency through 10 years. Meanwhile, Petro´s
percentage
Use synonyms
 dropped down significantly, almost marking a 10% difference from 1985 to 2005.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
graph
Use synonyms
 shows how that 10% was made up, as it can be noticed that
percentage
Use synonyms
increase
Use synonyms
 of both nuclear and other.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 used
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear and other had very similar trends.
Nuclear
Add an article
The nuclear
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 went up by almost 4%,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 saw an increment of slightly more than 4%. Both saw an
increase
Use synonyms
 during the 10 years. In conclusion, it can be noticed in the
graph
Use synonyms
 the
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
yout
Correct your spelling
your
 materials,
this
Linking Words
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 of the 10% drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Petro. The most significant
increase
Use synonyms
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 that it was other but was not as big
due to
Linking Words
 the consistency of most materials.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, energy, production, percentage, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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