IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The following diagrams show a current map of Peyton Park and plans for proposed changes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make a comparison where relevant.

The following diagrams show a current map of Peyton Park and plans for proposed changes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make a comparison where relevant.
#diagrams #show #peyton #park #plans #changes #information #features #comparison
The map shows
of
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apply
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the town of Garlsdon and there are two possible spots where a new supermarket will be located. There
is
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are
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 two available sites, S1 and S2.
Overall
, by using transportation and cars, S1 is
more
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a more
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 convenient place rather than S2.
To begin
 with, there are some
differeces
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differences
 between S1 and S2. S1 is located in the NorthWest of
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the twon
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twon
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town
two
 centre,
while
 S2 is in the
center
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centre
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 of
town
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the town
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 centre where is no traffic zone. The main roads are located
in
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on
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 the NorthEast side of S1 and
it
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apply
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towards to NorthWest. 12km far from S1 population can be easily moved to S1 by using the main roads and railway.
On the other hand
, S2 is in no traffic zone, so if
supermarket
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the supermarket
a supermarket
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 is placed in here, people should go there on foot rather than
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by cars
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cars
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car
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. A large portion of
industry
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the industry
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 is circled to S2,
while
industry
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the industry
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 site is only placed in the SouthEast of S1.
Also
, 15000 and 29000 population, respectively far from Bransdon, 16km and 25km can access to
twon
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two
town
 of Garlsdon by main roads. From the
center
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centre
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 of town, in both North and South, there are housing parts.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagrams
  • current map
  • proposed changes
  • summarize
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
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