IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many parents send their children abroad to study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the phenomenon.

#parents #children #study #phenomenon
Nowadays, most parents prefer their students to study outside the
country
as a result
 of which they send them abroad for
further
 academic qualification.
This
 essay will sum up the pros and cons of sending their children abroad.
To begin
 with, the main advantage of it is the number of universities is more in abroad like the USA, Cannada and other foreign countries in comparison to the countries like Nepal and India.
In addition
, there are high opportunities for placement and better job security after completion of the course. So, parents are highly interested and attracted by the facilities
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
For instance
, An article was published in Daily Times which states that MBBS rather prefer to apply for USMLE for postgraduate and settle in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 rather than applying in government hospitals of their own native.
In contrast
,the crucial disadvantage of sending abroad to study can result in a scarcity of qualified manpower in own
country
.It has been observed that thousands of doctors, nurses, engineers
as well as
 persons belonging to several fields are applying overseas after their graduation for
further
 studies with an expectation to be highly paid.
This
 might result in a crisis in future meanwhile it will decrease the number of youth in future. In ,Nepal
according to
 the census of the
last
 ,
decade
Add a comma
,decade
show examples
 the number of adults is very low than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age
due to
 immigration for academic studies.
To conclude
, there are both advantages and disadvantages to allowing children to study outside of the
country
. The advantage can be better education and job opportunities
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
a the
Choose an article
a
the
show examples
 prominent disadvantage can be a lack of manpower in the native
country
.
Submitted by roshnishahi40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: