You went to the local hospital’s Emergency Department with your young child who had severe stomach pains. You had to wait for almost four hours before your daughter was treated by a doctor and, while you were waiting, you were constantly ignored by the other staff. Write a letter to the Registrar, complaining about the service you received.

Dear Registrar, I am writing
this
letter to express my dissatisfaction regarding the way your hospital staff treated me, and my
daughter
.
Last
week, I went to your hospital in the evening because my
daughter
had intense pain in the stomach. When I arrived at the hospital, there was no one in the reception. I tried to talk to other staff, but they ignored me. I was really frustrated at that time that no one was helping me, and my
daughter
was in extreme pain. I rushed to the cabin of the doctor and requested him to see my
daughter
. After a couple of hours, he agreed.
Then
, he checked my
daughter
and did some tests
such
as sonography. He
also
took blood samples. Could you please take some necessary action against your staff? They should understand the situation of someone, who is in need of help. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Vishal Jangrala
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. For instance, mention all the ignored attempts together and then describe the wait time and doctor's examination clearly.
task achievement
Be more specific about the actions you'd like taken. This could strengthen your request and provide a clearer task response.
suitable writing tone
You maintained a polite and formal tone throughout the letter, which is very appropriate for this context.
complete response
You provided a detailed account of the incident and clearly articulated your dissatisfaction and request for action.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emergency department
  • severe stomach pains
  • urgent medical attention
  • extensive waiting period
  • ignored by staff
  • delay in treatment
  • emotional distress
  • unsatisfactory service
  • immediate action
  • formal complaint
  • patient care
  • hospital protocol
  • adequate attention
  • prompt response
  • better service provision
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