Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement #answers

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Many individuals are of the opinion that public servants ought not to be active in service as they reach retirement years. I strongly concur with

this

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option that, the elderly who are on the verge of completing their period of work shouldn't be encouraged to go ahead working.

This

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is because the older they get the less productive they become and

also

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vulnerable to occupational hazards.

To begin

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with, I'm of the opinion that, and strongly believe, individuals clocking towards official leaving of civil service should not be permitted to go ahead working.

Although

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, still as civil servants, it is detrimental both as a person and organization in terms of productivity and task achievement. Whenever age comes upon a person, his special senses of touch, taste, hearing and vision no longer remain

sharp

Rephrase

as sharp

show examples

as they were they dwindled,

strength

Correct word choice

and strength

show examples

also

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diminishes. Thereby rendering them susceptible to injury.

Also

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, Where I

workedfor

Correct your spelling

worked for

a decade and a half, there was

this

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excellent official driver to our head of department. In all his years, never had a history of road traffic accidents.

However

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, as he

reaches

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

the time of retirement, he had three cases of accidents which he could have avoided. The poor driver made

this

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statement and I quote " I didn't see the saloon car coming, all I did hear was a little sound of horn-like". The professional driver couldn't see clearly, or hear well now as compared to

then

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In addition

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as a result

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of their strength reduction, so

also

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shall their input in job allocation which would in turn affect the out considerably and whenever, there's reduced input, the resultant output would be affected and job satisfaction is defeated. The organization will suffer.

Furthermore

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, A neighbour of mine, a machine operator at a floor mill company lost his left arm because he was unable to control a loose lever. In conclusion, government and organizations should not allow people to perform organisational tasks as they march forward to their retirement.

Nevertheless

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this

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is because of the negative effects which be inflicted on them as individuals

as well as

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a system because they lack the necessary strength, will and skills

as a result

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of their bodies undergoing degenerative changes, which prone them to avoidable occupational injuries and dimishined job satisfaction and output

Submitted by oludayotemilade on Sat Apr 29 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion and provides an overview of the main points you will discuss in the essay. Additionally, restate your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points of your essay to provide a cohesive structure.

Task Achievement

Address the prompt by clearly stating your opinion on whether people should continue to work after reaching the retirement age. Make sure to provide detailed reasons and relevant examples to support your argument. Additionally, ensure that each example provided directly relates to the point you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

381 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement
milestone
celebrate
enjoy
hobbies
personal interests
loved ones
second careers
volunteering
mentally active
physically active
well-being
savings
financial stability

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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this and how can the problem be managed?

Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-years-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals.To what extend do you think crime is determined by human nature?Is it possible to stop children from going up to be criminals?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.