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Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development
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It has been observed that
due to
 the increasing population job opportunities are decreasing day-by-day. To grab these job opportunities, most of the individuals must migrate to metropolitan cities, leaving their hometowns and closed ones. They can become independent and can concentrate more on their career growth. I perceive that the opportunities it has outnumber the challenges it poses. My position is elaborated
further
 with reasons and relevant examples. Most multinational companies have their infrastructure built up in the metropolitan cities or the downtown of developed cities. These companies offer high-paying jobs with incredible allowances. People living in small towns have to relocate themselves to fill these vacancies.
This
 relocation helps them to concentrate more on themselves. They are away from their families, which sometimes acts as a huge distraction. A pertinent instance of
this
 would be the scenario of one of my close friends, who was preparing for his university examination but failed it
due to
 family issues. In my opinion, when a person resides away from his family, he can devote more time to himself, which results positively. Ancillary to
this
, living in a new environment consisting of people speaking various languages and having different cultures and traditions makes an individual bold and adaptable.
Moreover
, a person learns financial management skills by managing all his expenses. A substantial example of
this
 could be an international student from a different country who manages all his expenses through limited funds. Suffice it to say that there are multiple things that a person can learn by leaving his friends and family. To recapitulate, I reiterate that people who relocate
due to
 their jobs learn numerous things that make them more independent, which is beneficial for them
overall
.
Submitted by 1313ramandeepsingh on

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task achievement
Ensure to fully develop each main idea to make the argument more compelling.
task achievement
Present a balanced view by acknowledging potential disadvantages, even if arguing that advantages outweigh them.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases more effectively to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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