IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
Many individuals believe that living in big
cities
 can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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our health. From my perspective, to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
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 I agree with these individuals.
However
, there are some advantages of living in a big
city
. So, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will
further-examine
Correct your spelling
further examine
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this
 thought-provoking question.
To begin
 with, life in a big
city
have
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has
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 tremendous drawbacks.
Firstly
, it is poor air quality. As a matter of
the
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apply
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fact, there
are
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is
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 a lot of transport apart
of
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from
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it
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apply
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a lot of plants which emit CO2 and
greenhouses
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greenhouse
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 gases .
Consequently
, because of it many
persons
Replace the word
people
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 are often tired and they want to have a nap.
Moreover
, life in a big
city
 is so
dengerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
.
In other
words
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,words
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 there are a lot of thieves who commit crimes every day. Well,
random
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a random
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 can become a victim of one of the crimes.
For example
, rubbery or shoplifting.
Also
, another problem is noise pollution. Considering various bustling streets and areas your hearing will degrade and in the
future
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,future
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 you will have difficulties in observing information. 
On the other hand
, we cannot underestimate the benefits of living in big
cities
. The
first,
advantage is a good medical system. Compared to the outskirts there are individuals
do
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who do
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 not have access to
a
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apply
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good quality treatment.
In contrast
, if you live in a big developed
city
 you can get
this
 treatment and be sure of your recovery.
Furthermore
, in the big
cities
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,cities
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 there are many activities where elderly people can spend their time.
For instance
, language clubs,
sport
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sports
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 clubs, speaking clubs and so on.
Hence
, they can stop
retrogradation
Correct article usage
the retrogradation
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 of their brains.
Although
, in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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Add a comma
,
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people do not have the same activities. In conclusion, living in big
cities
 can lead to harmful consequences.
Nonetheless
, if it is possible to get over all the disadvantages, there will be only the benefits that remain.
Submitted by slobodanatol83 on

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