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Band 5.5

"Different types of environment pollution seem to be affecting an increasing number of people in the world. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what solutions would you suggest?"

#environment #pollution #people #world
Nowadays, the most global
problem
 is
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution. Some individuals argue that
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the fact that we faced with terrible
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 in the future.
However
, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will tell about
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 and solution of
this
problem
.
To begin
 with, our environment
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be clear for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health. If our
world
 would be bad for
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
, it can
be play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a role that we can’t live
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 cause is that
people
are destroy
Change the verb form
are destroying
show examples
 our nature
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
For instance
, in the park we can
faced
Change the verb form
be faced
face
show examples
 with a lot of rubbish, it is very terrible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our environment, living,
being
Correct word choice
and being
show examples
?.
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Second
Add an article
The second
A second
show examples
 cause is most of all our
world
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
 out
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
gas and coal.
For example
, every family have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two or more cars. It can give a big
problem
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future
such
 as
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our air.
In contrast
. Of
this
 huge
problem
, we have many solutions.
Firstly
,
people
 should
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
care to
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
,
such
 as
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a group to improve our ecology.
Secondly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 needs to include
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 law that provides information
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family can buy only one car.
Nevertheless
, one good solution would be to use
a
Change the article
an
show examples
electrical
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 car,
such
 as Tesla, because it’s eco-friendly.
Moreover
, we can see that
this solutions
Change the determiner
this solution
these solutions
show examples
 can influence our
problem
,
thus
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stay
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
clever
Add an article
the clever
show examples
 environment.
As a result
, if we will continue to save our
world
, it can give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 next generation. Ultimately, in the future amount of
people
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase and we need to be safe.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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