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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some
people
 allow themselves to face
such
 a bad situation, like a deficient
job
 or lack of money.
Other wise
Correct your spelling
Otherwise
show examples
, The others prefer to solve the problems to get a better
condition
.
This
 essay agrees that it is more value able if we address the problem to have a dream
job
 and earn much money. a few
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not matter to deal with poor
condition
. It is not a big deal as long as they have a
job
 even
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a low salary. They use spiritual
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 to understand their life.
For example
, Accepting the bad
condition
 will show their
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
 and gratefulness, rather than
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
complain
Wrong verb form
complaining
show examples
 and they think that complaining will make
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
God
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
angary
Correct your spelling
angry
show examples
.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, When they want to resign from
unsatisfactory
Add an article
an unsatisfactory
the unsatisfactory
show examples
job
, they are afraid that they cannot find a better
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 and cannot go back to the previous institution. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, it will make their situation harder than before.
On the other hand
,
people
 who like challenges will take the risk to be accepted in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 dream
job
 with a good salary. Internet will
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 full to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who are seeking
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
. They can select the types of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high income. By working in
satisfactory
Add an article
a satisfactory
show examples
job
, they evolve their skills and find more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to level up their career.
However
, to get a better
job
, sometimes, we need to upgrade our skills. It makes you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money to take the course, but it is still possible to achieve.
To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, It does not matter to deal with
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, but it will be better if you improve the situation.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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