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Band 5

Some experts believe it is better for animals to live in zoos where they are safe and are given all the food they need. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is believed that
zoos
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 are better
place
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places
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 for
animals
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’ lives because of safety and sustenance.
While
Linking Words
 there are serious negative consequences of living in
zoo
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a zoo
show examples
 for
animals
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, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand,
animals
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 often feel trapped
while
Linking Words
 staying in their cages, because
zoos
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 often offer unnatural and poor living
condition
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conditions
show examples
. In wildlife,
animals
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 have
a
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the
show examples
 confidence to move, to hunt and to find
foods
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food
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 and
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 place to live as well.
Moreover
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, quite limited space causes boredom, illness, and changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their behaviour.
Animals
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 become angry
due to
Linking Words
 lack of space. Daily visitors and different
noise
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noises
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 are additional factors to develop
feeling
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feelings
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 of anger on
animals
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. Sometimes these will be
reason
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the reason
a reason
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of
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for
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death
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the death
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 of some
animals
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.
On the other hand
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, I strongly agree that
zoos
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 are better to keep
animals
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 longer and healthy.
Animals
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 are safe in the place from different
disaster
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disasters
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,
illness
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illnesses
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, and poaching.
Animals
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 are in control of
zoos
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 permanently.
Zoos
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 can provide any solution if there are problems related to
health
Correct article usage
the health
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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,
animals
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 are safer from poaching and predators in
zoos
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. It is true that poaching
animals
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 is almost impossible because of
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
zoos
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 compared to wildlife.
Furthermore
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, keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 gives an opportunity
to
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for
show examples
researches
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research
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. Scientists can collect more information about
animals
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, their living,
population
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populations
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.
This
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 data is valuable knowledge for
young
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the young
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 generation to learn about
physiology
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the physiology
show examples
 of
animals
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. In conclusion,
while
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 wildlife is beneficial to live for
animals
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, I believe that the advantages of keeping them in
zoos
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 are greater than the drawbacks.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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