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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The art, including art ,music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the art still have a place amoungst our modern lifestyles? Should the art be included in the school curriculum

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What is
art
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?
Art
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 is the various branches of creative
actively
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activities
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such
Linking Words
 as painting,
music
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, photography, literature and dance. Nowadays the concept of
art
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 including
music
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 ,dance, literature and theatre are very important in our modern society,
need
Correct word choice
and need
show examples
 to be considered and included in the school curriculum for better learning
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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.I believe
this
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 is an appropriate learning
skill
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 in schools which will help the growing
children
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 learn more and be creative
To begin
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 with ,having a good,conducive ,
well ventilated
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well-ventilated
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 and
noise free
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noise-free
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 environment for learning is very important for
children
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,having a colourful classroom ,hall with diagrams of different animals and
things
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 that will help their learning
skill
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.moreso ,bringing
art
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in
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into
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 the curriculum has great benefits it will bring out the
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children
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children's
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 great learning
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 will be able to know their abilities .
However
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,creative activity and learning
,
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apply
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is a way of making them have long time memory.
for
Correct your spelling
For
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examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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,in a class where the
children
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 are been taught with diagrams,coloured objects,billboard and posters ,
this
Linking Words
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children
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child
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tends
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tend
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 to pay more attention and be more interested in
things
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 they can see,feel and touch ,
this
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help
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helps
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things
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 stay longer in their memory.
Furthermore
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,when
art
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 is included in
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
 and
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
children
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tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to learn and are able to know what they can do ,they will be able to engage in various branches of creative
activities
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such
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 as entertainment which is a way of relieving stress and
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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 health of people.
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Also
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,Also
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music
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, watching movies, photography,
craft
Correct word choice
and craft
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 work of different images and objects.It
promote
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promotes
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 creativities,
develop
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develops
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 their self -esteem and it
also
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provide
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provides
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 job opportunities in future .
Moreover
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,looking at some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
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,they still go against
art
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activities
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 and work ,some believe it will have some negative impact on
children
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 growing up,that they will
loose
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lose
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 concentration and get distracted with the whole
art
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 creativities but if they are well
guilded
Correct your spelling
guided
 and
their
Replace the word
there
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 is
timetable
Add an article
the timetable
a timetable
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 for when to go for
art
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 learning
things
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 will be perfect because
art
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activities
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 are very important in our society today and in future. In conclusion,
Art
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 including
music
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,theatre,dance photography and
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 more should be added and encouraged in schools to improve more learning skills and creative
activities
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 now and in future .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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