IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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It
is believe
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is believed
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of
Change preposition
by
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 some people that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary school leaving should get
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
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 in activities or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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travel for a year before getting
admission
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 into
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
institution
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, I will be looking into the merit and demerit of
this
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 action in
this
Linking Words
 essay which
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 and
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
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 shall be drawn.
To begin
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 with, it is crystal clear that the adolescent
period
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 is a very fragile
period
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.
This
Linking Words
period
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 is when the young have different
group
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groups
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 of peers, I strongly believe
this
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period
Use synonyms
 of a year should be used judiciously as a free hand could be tempted to be involved in different
task
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tasks
show examples
, most especially when they are not under supervision. But if occupy with activities, it safe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time from band
gang
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gangs
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,
moreover
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, the type of planning studied may
also
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 be
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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 prior the
admission
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 to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
institution
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.
In addition
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, the
work
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 gotten might have a good
paid
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pay
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 which will help to relieve the parent in footing for the planned academy. Not only that but working before
admission
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 can even help to create different opportunities.
Moreover
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,it gives more experience .
Examples
Fix the agreement mistake
Example
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 of
this
Linking Words
 is a cousin who
work
Use synonyms
 before getting
admission
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 into
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
institution
Use synonyms
 that was able to deliver the
work
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 diligently, after completing
the
Change the word
their
his
her
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 education he was able to get
free
Add an article
a free
the free
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 slot to
work
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 because he
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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was known in the company for his ability to
work
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 diligently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, looking
unto
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
demerit aspect of working before gaining entrance into
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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institution
Use synonyms
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
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 is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
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 to focus on the study as little money earning might distract undetermined people. In conclusion, it
pay
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pays
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 most to
work
Use synonyms
 before getting
admission
Use synonyms
 into the higher
institution
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 as it
allow
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allows
show examples
 experience and
permit
Change the verb form
permits
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 individual for
easy
Add an article
the easy
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 footing of expenses in the study.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
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