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Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 some people that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary school leaving should get
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in activities or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
travel for a year before getting
admission
 into
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
institution
, I will be looking into the merit and demerit of
this
 action in
this
 essay which
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 and
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
 shall be drawn.
To begin
 with, it is crystal clear that the adolescent
period
 is a very fragile
period
.
This
period
 is when the young have different
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of peers, I strongly believe
this
period
 of a year should be used judiciously as a free hand could be tempted to be involved in different
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
, most especially when they are not under supervision. But if occupy with activities, it safe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time from band
gang
Fix the agreement mistake
gangs
show examples
,
moreover
, the type of planning studied may
also
 be
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 prior the
admission
 to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
institution
.
In addition
, the
work
 gotten might have a good
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
 which will help to relieve the parent in footing for the planned academy. Not only that but working before
admission
 can even help to create different opportunities.
Moreover
,it gives more experience .
Examples
Fix the agreement mistake
Example
show examples
 of
this
 is a cousin who
work
 before getting
admission
 into
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
institution
 that was able to deliver the
work
 diligently, after completing
the
Change the word
their
his
her
show examples
 education he was able to get
free
Add an article
a free
the free
show examples
 slot to
work
 because he
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was known in the company for his ability to
work
 diligently.
On the other hand
, looking
unto
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
demerit aspect of working before gaining entrance into
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
institution
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
 is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
show examples
 to focus on the study as little money earning might distract undetermined people. In conclusion, it
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 most to
work
 before getting
admission
 into the higher
institution
 as it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 experience and
permit
Change the verb form
permits
show examples
 individual for
easy
Add an article
the easy
show examples
 footing of expenses in the study.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
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