In some countries, young people are encouraged to look or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #travel #year #school #university #studies

Some countries do support youths to go

for

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vacation after graduation from secondary school in order to help them ease the stress of school.

This

has advantages and disadvantages on them. Youths can choose to travel after graduation from secondary school to visit family and friends,

this

will help the individual learn new things about life, during the vacation, the individual might try to work in order to gather

money

within that one year and

also

process his or her admission into the university, by so doing the little job will make the individual save enough

money

and it will

also

help the individual to appreciate the parents. When the individual chooses to visit family, the kind of job those people the individual visited can

also

open his eyes to choose

carrier

Correct article usage

a carrier

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in the university, going

for

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excursion

Correct article usage

an excursion

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will open the individual eyes to appreciate nature more. The disadvantages can be that the individual exposure to

money

via working will make him or her

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

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interest in furthering their education because they now work and can buy anything they want with

money

making exposes the individual to

life

Replace the word

live

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enjoyments.

Also

travelling can make the individual meet new friends that will introduce him or her to

bad

Add an article

a bad

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habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

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like smoking,

drinking

Correct word choice

and drinking

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alcoholic substances and

there by

Correct your spelling

thereby

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making the individual

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

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interest in going to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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university. In conclusion,travelling after secondary is really nice,

working

Correct word choice

and working

show examples

after secondary is

also

good. The individual needs to be sensitive in order not to allow the disadvantages

affect

Fix the infinitive

to affect

show examples

him or her.

Submitted by oludayotemilade on Sun Apr 30 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, young people are encouraged to look or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fully explain your ideas

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

The government should sometimes infringe on peoples' freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

When country develops its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?