IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their leaves of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #health #fitness #measures
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It is true that
weight
Use synonyms
 is one of
Correct article usage
the sign
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sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
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 which can express how healthy
Use synonyms
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 you are;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it is likely to have
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 average
weight
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in many countries at present.
Economic
Add an article
The economic
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 crisis is the main problem of
this
Linking Words
 situation, and
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of Public
Health
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for solving
this
Linking Words
 problem. One of the most important problems is that many countries face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic issues since the COVID-19 pandemic
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been spread out around the world for more than 3 years.
This
Linking Words
 can be the
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
's average
weight
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rising
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 could not go out to have more activities and
also
Linking Words
 when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
return
Correct subject-verb agreement
returns
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 back to
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
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 lifetime,
people
Use synonyms
 get used to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 the same
Use synonyms
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 as
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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 and
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it revealed that 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 who had been
work
Change the verb form
working
worked
show examples
 from home in the
last
Linking Words
 3 years tend to have higher cholesterol
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 and the waistline has
increasing
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
. Having said that
ecomomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 crisis plays a major role in unhealthy
Use synonyms
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue,
Correct article usage
the Minitry
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Minitry
Correct your spelling
Ministry
 of Public
Health
Use synonyms
 should take action as soon as possible. The most significant solution to support
this
Linking Words
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 fact that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
minitry
Correct your spelling
ministry
 of public
health
Use synonyms
 ought to promote and acknowledge
people
Use synonyms
 about the dangers of
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in recent news, it has been reported that 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 who have
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
show examples
 of the drawback of
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
 tend to have better
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as more
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 to have healthy food. By doing
this
Linking Words
, the
weight
Use synonyms
 is
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to 45% compared to those who have not been encouraged by the campaigns. In conclusion,
Add a missing verb
being overwieght
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overwieght
Correct your spelling
overweight
 is
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 in many countries,
people
Use synonyms
abandons
Change the verb form
abandon
show examples
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
awareness
Replace the word
aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 which can trigger
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious
health
Use synonyms
 problems;
therefore
Linking Words
 the
ministry
Correct your spelling
Ministry
show examples
 of public
health
Use synonyms
 should promote and support
people
Use synonyms
 to have more healthy
Use synonyms
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Submitted by boon.suchaya on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • calorie consumption
  • food desert
  • health disparity
  • nutritional education
  • genetic predisposition
  • metabolism
  • processed foods
  • public health policy
  • infrastructure
  • health promotion
  • awareness campaigns
  • dietary habits
  • lifestyle diseases
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