In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

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In some countries, people
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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about
Change preposition
that
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children
Use synonyms
can’t
working
Wrong verb form
work
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in the
time
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, because they are still in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
for
Change preposition
to
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study
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
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will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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schoolwork. In
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fact, I disagree
Linking Words
this
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with this
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point,
although
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UNICEF and ILO show
about
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apply
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research
of
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on
show examples
kids forced to be a worker,
that’s
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me partition the topic, one for
children
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still
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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and another part
of
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for
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kids who can’t
study
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only to live
to for
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apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
if
children
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can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study
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and learn in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, even spend some take reset
time
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working, in my
option
Correct your spelling
opinion
show examples
that’s
Use synonyms
just
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
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more experience, have
for
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apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
know
make
Wrong verb form
making
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money
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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tough,
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that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
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will be thinking about how to use they’re economy and tame cost in the life.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was 8 years old, my mom’s friend
has
Wrong verb form
had
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a job for dispatch
the
Correct article usage
apply
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throwaway, and my mom told me I
can
Wrong verb form
could
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work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
my holiday and get the
coin
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, I tried and get some
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coin
Fix the agreement mistake
coins
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, and
then
Linking Words
I still remember
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
walking on the street and the day is very hottest in my memory. The ordeal has known
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
me,
what
Correct word choice
that
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every
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money
Correct quantifier usage
piece of money
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or
coin
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is
preciousness
Replace the word
precious
show examples
, after that
time
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, when I get
money
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, I always tell me don’t waste
ever
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
coin
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, other part
children
Use synonyms
were taken
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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and
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
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live
Change the word
living
show examples
in the world, they
were claim
Change the verb form
were claimed
were claiming
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from
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by
show examples
Add an article
an adult
the adult
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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, the adult oblige of kid go to
work
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get
money
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for they became
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
child
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, compare I disagree
this
Linking Words
happened in our world, because we know only learning and studying become
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life, and the little guys didn’t any choice, they will always in the roll.
In
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Finally
show examples
finally
Linking Words
, I agree
children
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have
learning
Change the verb form
learned
show examples
can go to
work
Use synonyms
get the grow,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
I disagree
that’s
Use synonyms
not learning of
children
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go to
work
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, because they must
study
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school,
however
Linking Words
not go to
work
Use synonyms
for life,
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
should
be occupy
Change the verb form
be occupied
be occupying
show examples
they almost
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by workthing5421 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear introduction that introduces the topic and states your opinion. Additionally, use topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly present your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses the prompt fully and provides clear and comprehensive ideas. Support your opinion with specific reasons and details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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