In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
In some countries, people
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
about
Change preposition
that
children
can’t working
in the Wrong verb form
work
time
, because they are still in the
school Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
to
study
, that’s
will Unnecessary verb
that
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
effect
schoolwork.
In Correct your spelling
affect
my
fact, I disagree Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
point, Change preposition
with this
although
UNICEF and ILO show about
research Change preposition
apply
of
kids forced to be a worker, Change preposition
on
that’s
me partition the topic, one for children
still study
and another part Wrong verb form
studying
of
kids who can’t Change preposition
for
study
only to live to for
Change preposition
apply
work
.
First,
if children
can be
Unnecessary verb
apply
study
and learn in the
Correct article usage
apply
time
, even spend some take reset time
for
working, in my Change preposition
apply
option
Correct your spelling
opinion
that’s
just get
more experience, have Fix the infinitive
to get
for
Change preposition
apply
children
know make
Wrong verb form
making
money
was
tough, Wrong verb form
is
that’s
will be thinking about how to use they’re economy and tame cost in the life.
Unnecessary verb
that
For example
, when I was 8 years old, my mom’s friend has
a job for dispatch Wrong verb form
had
the
throwaway, and my mom told me I Correct article usage
apply
can
Wrong verb form
could
work
in
my holiday and get the Change preposition
on
coin
, I tried and get some coin
, and Fix the agreement mistake
coins
then
I still remember I
walking on the street and the day is very hottest in my memory.
The ordeal has known Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
me, Change preposition
to
what
every Correct word choice
that
money
or Correct quantifier usage
piece of money
coin
is preciousness
, after that Replace the word
precious
time
, when I get money
, I always tell me don’t waste ever
Correct your spelling
every
coin
.
Secondly
, other part children
were taken a
Correct your spelling
as
worker
and Fix the agreement mistake
workers
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
live
in the world, they Change the word
living
were claim
Change the verb form
were claimed
were claiming
from
Change preposition
by
Add an article
an adult
the adult
adult
, the adult oblige of kid go to Fix the agreement mistake
adults
work
get money
for they became a
child Remove the article
apply
labor
, compare I disagree Change the spelling
labour
this
happened in our world, because we know only learning and studying become a
life, and the little guys didn’t any choice, they will always in the roll.
Remove the article
apply
In
Change preposition
Finally
finally
, I agree children
have learning
can go to Change the verb form
learned
work
get the grow, on the other
hand
I disagree Add the comma(s)
hand,
that’s
not learning of children
go to work
, because they must study
in the
school, Correct article usage
apply
however
not go to work
for life, study
should Add an article
the study
a study
be occupy
they almost Change the verb form
be occupied
be occupying
time
.Submitted by workthing5421 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear introduction that introduces the topic and states your opinion. Additionally, use topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly present your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses the prompt fully and provides clear and comprehensive ideas. Support your opinion with specific reasons and details.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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