IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

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Technological inventions have transformed the execution of household chores. Earlier every task like cleaning, washing clothes and utensils were performed by hand;
however
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, now there are machines for everything. In my opinion, these types of equipment have surely benefited society as they save a lot of
time
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, considering how busy people are today. The major advantage of
such
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 inventions is that they are
time
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-saving. Nowadays, every individual is occupied with chasing their dreams which leaves them with limited
time
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 for household chores.
The home
Correct article usage
Home
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 appliances like washing machines, vacuum cleaners and dishwashers have helped folks
in managing
Wrong verb form
manage
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 their homes
along with
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 their professional lives.
For instance
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, my mother used to do everything on her own even after coming back from her job but today, I have the privilege, and it has made my life easier. When I am home from
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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work, I get
time
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 to spend with my kids
while
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 my dishwasher is washing the dinner dishes.
This
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 quality
time
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 will be highly beneficial for me
as well as
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 my kids as it will help us to bond.
Therefore
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, these technologies have indirectly helped families connect and rejuvenate. Despite these advantages, there are a few disadvantages as well. Some of the appliances emit radiation which is not good for the environment.
Also
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, the work performed by hand can never be compared with that of gadgets. Handwork will always outshine.
For example
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, utensils cleaned by hand will always be more hygienic than machine ones.
Additionally
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, these devices are expensive and can be heavy on our pockets.
To conclude
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, I strongly opine that there are more advantages than disadvantages of the inventions of home equipment as discussed in the aforementioned statements. The development has made life easier and helped people to have healthy minds and relationships. By choosing the right devices that are eco-friendly, the disadvantages can be reduced.

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Make sure to address all aspects of the question fully and clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, try to use more transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • domestic help
  • smart home technologies
  • energy-efficient
  • resource depletion
  • over-dependence
  • external services
  • maintenance
  • replacements
  • leisure activities
  • tedious tasks
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