The breakthrough in medical sciences are by far the most significant advances in the world society over the last two centuries. Discuss this statement and give your opinion

Most

people

consider that the administration should finance oscillation, occupation and

musicfor

Correct your spelling

music for

teenagers

while

another part believes that these

activities

should

be provide

Change the verb form

be provided

show examples

with money by businessmen or by their

parents

.

This

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the letter. Almost all

people

agree that the local government should pay

extracurricular

Change preposition

for extracurricular

show examples

activities

for instance

making music, arts and dance

therefore

they think that if authorities take on

this

issue, it will open new

courses

which will engage these

activities

. Most

children

attend these classes since they are public

as a consequence

it is the most significant advantage. All over the

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

no one is financially equal thereby we cannot discover all

children

who have talent

thus

if they are public, most

children

will take

course

Add an article

the course

a course

show examples

. Some

people

believe that families or private ownerships should ensure financial of

courses

although

it is damage to their budgets, some

people

superior

this

way than public way. In

fact

Add a comma

,fact

show examples

we know that

parents

and private sectors have capitalized

extracurricular

Change preposition

on extracurricular

show examples

activities

in Australia since 1989 thereby almost 89 percent

children

Change preposition

of children

show examples

take

courses

. Most

parents

choose

this

method as they have a chance to choose any course consequence it is

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

important edge and

also

if private businesses finance these

activities

, they will improve education at the

courses

. In my view families and private businesses should pay tuition fees

of

Change preposition

for

show examples

courses

as I think that some

parents

want to choose course locations, teachers, meals and

also

native

Correct pronoun usage

their native

show examples

language. In conclusion, most

people

have different thoughts

while

we generally divide 7 o parts

therefore

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

part

consider

Change the verb form

considers

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that local authorities pay

courses

Change preposition

for courses

show examples

payment,

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

part

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that

children

's

parents

or private businesses should finance music, dance and

arts

Change the noun form

art

show examples

lessons. On the whole, I guess

parents

and private!