IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think that money does not guarantee happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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With the increasing competition for survival, the requirement to earn more
money
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 to lead a luxurious
life
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 has become a necessity.
People
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 now believe that the more
money
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 they have, the happier their lives will be.
However
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, there are still some
people
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 who believe only
money
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 cannot assure that one can lead a happy
life
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. I will discuss both these views and will provide my own opinion. In these modern times,
money
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 has become the main ingredient for the recipe for a fulfilling and satisfied
life
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.
People
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 are running towards earning more
money
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 as they believe
money
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 is the solution to every problem.
For example
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, some
people
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 are of the opinion that joining lavish clubs and living in big mansions is necessary for a happy
life
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.
People
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 depend on technology for their daily schedules and as we all know, technology is not cheap. Living a
life
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 with enough
money
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 brings a sense of satisfaction to
people
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that
Correct word choice
so that
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 they can tackle all financial problems head-on.
On the contrary
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, there are few
people
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 who think that having enough
money
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 for survival is necessary, but it cannot guarantee that one will lead a happy
life
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. As long as
people
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 are running after
money
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, they are not taking out time to take a pause and actually live.
People
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 are forgetting that
life
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 is about living and not just earning
money
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. Small activities like cooking food with family and taking leisure walks with loved ones are a few examples that give
the
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apply
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actual satisfaction in
life
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.
Money
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 can buy a video game, but not someone to play it with.
To conclude
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,
people
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 want to earn more
money
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 to have a fulfilling
life
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. But in my opinion,
money
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 is not necessary to lead a happy
life
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. Happiness is already around us, we just need to stop and start feeling it with our family and friends.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic security
  • enriching experiences
  • broaden horizons
  • emotional well-being
  • materialism
  • asset management
  • life satisfaction
  • fundamental needs
  • reduce stress
  • enabling experiences
  • emotional needs
  • accumulate wealth
  • never-ending cycle
  • subjective
  • multifaceted
What to do next:
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