IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people thinks that watching news is good for individuals and some thinks not . discuss both views and also give your opinion

#people #news #individuals
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It has been argued that spending
time
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 watching the news can be very helpful for
people
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while
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 some think it is just a waste of
time
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. In my opinion,
people
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 should watch the news as it provides them with global knowledge.
However
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, information shared through media is not always true. Technology advancements make it possible to communicate around the globe in a real-
time
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. Since
people
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 are connected around the world, they should know what is happening in different countries.
For example
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, a resident of India, who is working from Canada, would like to know the current affairs of his home country so that he can plan
accordingly
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.
Further
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, information shared over television can be very helpful to
people
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 to plan their day. These days, the media covers live traffic updates and weather forecasts, which is helping
people
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 a lot.
Thus
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,
people
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 need to keep themselves updated.
On the other hand
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, television channels these days are not covering the facts rather they are focussing on the stories. Because they focus on profitability, they spend
time
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 on irrelevant stories which waste
people
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's
time
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.
For instance
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, one TV channel covered a death case of a celebrity and portrayed that as murder, trying to maximize the viewership.
Hence
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,
people
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 should avoid watching
such
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 coverage. In conclusion,
although
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 some media houses
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 real information, in my view, watching the news is still very useful and one should see it daily. If there are any nuisances,
people
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 have to learn to filter those and be selective in their content
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
.
Submitted by yoursvicky129 on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and states your position. The conclusion should also summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) and a clear organizational structure to better connect your ideas and improve coherence.
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